


Nothing Gets Better With Time

by Glorytogermanolia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Blacking Out, Extreme dieting, Fantastic Racism, Food mention, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Passing Out, Self Harm, Suicide mention, Unconsciousness, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, dieting, implied eating disorder, mentions of nausea, mentions of vomiting, orthorexia, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25875520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorytogermanolia/pseuds/Glorytogermanolia
Summary: Equius didn’t believe his eyes the first time he saw her.  Perhaps his vision had gone faulty, perhaps he was imagining it.  He wondered if he had gone ill.  He couldn’t believe it, but Equius Zahhak had just met the most beautiful girl in the world.  Of course, finding that beauty again takes time.
Relationships: Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Vriska Serket & Equius Zahhak
Comments: 9
Kudos: 13





	1. Maulmart Frightens Me

  


Equius Zahhak had always been a lonely person—and it was his own fault. Perhaps if he had avoided isolating himself, he would be less lonely. It was rare for the boy to even step foot out of his hive and the only neighbor who really knew him understood him to be a cold and distant guy. He rarely entertained others’ silliness, even at a seemingly young age. At the age of 6 sweeps, Equius was a highfalutin, practically invisible boy who believed himself to be more mature than he really was. He didn’t have any social skills—He didn’t have any skills at all, it seemed. He didn’t think so. Not compared to those of the highest blood. People like…

Zahhak didn’t know how to feel about that twisted purple. He was just...infuriating. It was making the boy perspire just thinking about how horribly wonderful—wonderfully horrible—the highblood was. He sometimes wondered if perhaps the highblood was acting in such vile ways to purposely antagonize him. He sometimes wondered—nay, hoped—that the highblood was simply acting like such a low being as a ruse. He knew he could fix the highblood if he pushed far enough. He would make the highblood embrace his role even if it took the death of him. It was his job as an indigo-blood to make other castes embrace their roles—If it took force then so be it. Sometimes force was the only thing that would work.

We desperately need to get back to the topic at hand. Equius demands it. And if you are lower than him then you must follow his order. That is how the world works. Just as he is meant to follow orders from people higher than him. No matter how life-threatening or ridiculous. 

Equius didn’t care to die. He wasn’t suicidal. He had things to do, people to double-cross, and Empresses to fight for. If he were a lesser person, he would say he had irons in the fire. But he wasn’t a lesser person. He was himself. He was indigo. He was told by society that his entire identity was meant to be surrounding his bloodline. He didn’t quite agree with that, but he would _never_ refuse a command. He tried to add a few more things to his identity though. There was no unspoken rule saying he couldn’t do that. Equius Zahhak was four things: Serious, STRONG, indigo, and a STRICT follower of the hemospectrum. 

Being a strict follower of the hemospectrum meant this: There would be NO mixing with the base classes. Equius would never allow himself to interact with or speak to any lowbloods if he could help it. If he did, he made sure it was clear who was the superior person. It was important to always assert your dominance and one-up the lower life form. That was one of the few spoken rules. That was one of the problems with socialization. There were unspoken rules and spoken rules and written rules to manage and understand and be aware of. You always had to read between the lines and figure out what were the right words to say and which words would put shame upon your bloodline and disappoint the Mother. 

There were so many things to keep track of that it often sent Equius into fits of anxiety that would last for days upon days upon… Well, he didn’t want to keep going on. He spent those anxiety-ridden days staying wide awake and meticulously planning his next interaction with a person. He wouldn’t allow himself to rest until he knew he had the perfect strategy. He had to be sure he wouldn’t slip up. He would spend, perhaps around a day or two, listing all of the rules that could come into play in the situation. 

Then he would spend the next couple of days listing any issues that might prevent him from following those rules: A natural or unnatural disaster, him slipping up and not following his prewritten script, falling in love with someone (impossib001), him missing a social cue, the other person saying something wrong, there were so many things that could happen. There could be unexpected deaths, unexpected words, unexpected anything. A bookshelf could be about to fall on someone, a lowblood maybe, and as part of his moral code, he would find it difficult to not try and save them. So many things could happen. 

He had to list everything- If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Then he went about writing his potential scripts. They always made him out to be a better and more charming person than he was. He had never gotten past making the first drafts. He always trashed them and by the time he was beginning to rewrite a new script, it was time for the interaction. So he was unprepared with more and more anxiety. He had recently begun talking to his moirail during these restless days, but he felt guilty about it. Was he burdening her by keeping her awake? She assured him that he wasn’t, but he still couldn’t get that thought out of his head. 

Equius Zahhak was a burden to society and he didn’t know how to stop being one. He was a horrible highblood who wasn’t meeting expectations. He repeated these types of insults in front of a mirror one day after a particularly rough night and found himself newly motivated to become a better person. He just had to stop being a burden. That seemed simple enough. He began listing his options.

**•Death**

•Contribution to the Great Alternian Army

•Repeating these insults to yourself everynight but still not becoming any better

Obviously, he didn’t want to die. The third option wouldn’t work, but it did help motivate him. Maybe he could merge two and three. Equius was sad to admit it, but he knew he would never become an archeradicator. He was simply too STRONG for that. He knew something he could be, however. He could give in and become a simple soldier. His talent, after all, was hand to hand combat. His talent was being STRONG, which was coincidentally one of the most important talents a soldier could have. He decided on that night, while staring down his monstrous muscled reflection in his mirror, that he would begin honing his STRENGTH.

To become STRONGER, of course, one has to test themself. Of COURSE, Equius’ goal had to be to test himself. There was no other way to become STRONGER. Equius liked working with machinery and he liked punching things. So why not combine those things while also making sure he became stronger? Why not make machines that would fight back? That would allow him to practice and refine his fighting skills while also doing the things he enjoyed. He didn’t have to punish himself too badly for being a disappointment to the Empire, he didn’t think. He could have just a little punishment, as a treat. Equius began building deadly robots that he could easily fight. They required nothing to down them but a small tap. It was simple, but he realized very quickly that simplicity wouldn’t do anything to better his ability. 

He was remaining stagnant. 

To better himself, he would be forced to make himself suffer. That is how the world works, after all. To be productive is to suffer. He began building STRONGER robots, ones that could almost match his own ability. He made them out of more durable materials. The prototypes had been made out of flimsy sheet metal he had found sitting around. He certainly couldn’t keep making robots out of garbage. He had to have the best robots. The STRONGEST and most durable and most VIOLENT robots he could make. He had to have the best so he could become the best. So that meant making stronger robots, testing how powerful they were with himself as the lab rat, and then making the stronger robots stronger. He only wanted the best. 

He had to suffer the best. He made sure to improve his tolerance for pain. He wanted to eat the uncomfortable and painful foods, wear the most uncomfortable shoes, have the most uncomfortable furniture, and yes, fight in the most uncomfortable way. He had begun to find comfort in discomfort. Living in pain would make him happier. He became obsessed with this way of life but it surely wasn’t unhealthy. He would NEVER allow himself to be unhealthy. Equius had already been obsessed with health before all of this discomfort stuff, but it was only amplified. He cut out all sugars from his diet, including natural sugars. He began eating less processed foods. His lusus started a garden. Equius began exercising at all hours, only stopping when he desperately needed to or when somebody was trying to reach him. He didn’t tell anybody how far he was pushing himself because he didn’t actually feel the need to. He didn’t see any reason. He felt healthier and happier this way, so obviously he was healthier and happier this way. He just had to keep telling himself that. 

Before Equius could realize it, he had brought himself to the lowest point possible. That is where the story begins.

\--

The cold and unsympathetic touch of an uncaring floor gently caressing your face is a familiar sensation to you. You would say that 9 out of 10 times you regain consciousness that that is the feeling you first begin to feel. Though you typically prefer to make sure percentages are 100%, you aren’t quite sure if you’d be okay with this situation becoming one of those common percentages. But what can you say? You have a pretty simple mind. Maybe you would still find satisfaction in that. You want to be one of those people who does everything to completion. If you ever played games, you likely wouldn’t stop playing until you explored every inch, got every achievement, and did everything 100% with a 100% amount of effort and a 100% chance of winning. 

100% is just such an amazing percentage. It brings about such strong emotions in you. Emotions like: achievement, joy, accomplishment, satisfaction, and best of all, the feeling of having just drunk a nice, refreshing glass of delicious 100% milk. You know that that isn’t classified as an emotion, but it really deserves to be. You are definitely absolutely sure that unpasteurized milk is 100% milk. Your assumptions are never incorrect. Unpasteurized milk is the best milk, just like 100% is the best percentage. So maybe waking up like this 100% of the time wouldn’t be too bad, but you somehow doubt it. 

As you sit up and look around, you notice how impeccably polished the floors around you are. It seems Aurthour has been productive during your unintentional nap. You know he still isn’t accustomed to you doing things like this, but you also know the man can’t resist polishing a scuffed floor. He controls his unwarranted concern by cleaning. It is in his nature. Scrub scrub scrub those worries away. You aren’t quite sure why the chap is so worried nowadays, but it upsets you. You wish he would just suck it up like a man. Aurthour has always been of a moobeast-bloodpushered temperament, but you still care for him all the same. 

** D - - > Aurthour **

You call out to your lusus but he is nowhere to be seen. He must be on the other side of the hive. Oh well. You mustn’t dilly dally around worrying about him. He is capable of taking care of himself, just like you are. You stand up and begin to prepare for your night. After consulting the clock on the wall, you are made aware that it is currently 4. You can get a bit done... Maybe. 

** D - - > You are the worst person in the world **

You leer at your disgusting reflection, anger and pure hatred boiling and bubbling away in your stomach. Good. This is a good start to your night. This is how you are intended to start your night. You are sure of it. 

** D - - > 100k at you **

** D - - > You’re the biggest disappointment in the entire world **

** D - - > 100k what you have done to yourself **

** D - - > You give yourself stomach aches just from 100king at yourself **

** D - - > You didn’t think it possible until you were having it happen every night  **

** D - - > You’re so stupid and thickwitted that you didn’t know simple troll biology **

** D - - > Of course getting angry makes your stomach hurt **

** D - - > It only makes sense **

** D - - > But you’re so stupid that you don’t understand that **

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

** D - - > You’re worthless **

** D - - > Why w001d anyone ever care about you **

** D - - > You’re an **

** D - - > Insignificant **

** D - - > Meaningless **

** D - - > Failure to the system **

** D - - > How can you e%pect yourself to be able to assist your Empire and encourage other trolls to adhere to the system when you cannot even do it yourself **

** D - - > You’re so stupid **

** D - - > Stupid **

** D - - > Stupid **

** D - - > Stupid **

** D - - > Stupid **

** D - - > Stupid **

** D - - > You’re stupid **

** D - - > You have to become a better Indigo tonight **

** D - - > But you’re not going to, are you **

** D - - > Because you’re a worthless, stupid, idiotic, failure, e%cuse of an **

You feel someone touch your shoulder reassuringly. Ah, yes. The amply-muscled touch of your custodian.

** D - - > Ah, Aurthour **

** D - - > I was wondering where you had gone **

Aurthour stares at you for a moment. You can’t quite discern what emotion he was trying to get across. You weren’t ever good at figuring that kind of stuff out. That is another thing you need to sort out while looking in the mirror. But you feel like you cannot do that when he is around. It makes you feel like you are doing something wrong— like stealing or lying. You feel guilty. You aren’t sure why. You just feel like you have to hide certain things from people. Aurthour stares at you for a moment longer. Is this a moment of stern lusus-ly disapproval or disappointment or dismay? You are frightened to figure out. You don’t figure it out. He just pats you on the head with a slightly sad look in his eyes. You think it is sad at least. As you said, you aren’t quite good at recognizing other people's emotions.

** D - - > I believe we should start the day, Aurthour **

And start you will. You’re not going to have your day ruined just because your routine was interrupted. You’re not that obsessed with routines. Aurthour stares at you again as if to challenge that statement. You honestly cannot believe the amount of sass contained in that one stare. Aurthour may be your lusus but you’re the one in charge here. You glower at him for a moment, daring him to continue sassing you. He acts innocent and confused but you aren’t stupid. 

He slowly leaves the room, hands raised to show he means no harm. You suppose you will let his misbehavior slide for now. You ask him to investigate a thumping noise you’ve been hearing since you’ve awoken. You personally don’t have time to check it out. You have more important things to worry about. Time to get back to business. You will now traverse Troll Maulmarts’ wares via your husktop. 

Gosh dang it. You call for Aurthour, obviously expecting him to come trotting. He doesn’t. You really are tired of him running off. It makes you want to hit something. Why can’t he just be right where you want him? He is so useless. You almost want to swear. Fiddlesticks! Dixie-darning square dancing muscle-flexing fiddlesticks. Pixie sticks. Motor scooters with donkeys riding on top. Gosh darn it, where is your stupid, impudent, useless, disrespectful, fuc-fudgeslinging custodian? You’ve never known anyone more disrespectful than that man. You will never forgive him. You platonically despise that man. You’re not going to- 

D - - > Oh, hello Aurthour 

D - - > Why is my husktop suddenly broken, you ask 

D - - > I don’t know, it just did that 

D - - > Maybe someone came in and punched it 

D - - > Can you go check the router 

D - - > Not that it matters now that the husktop is broken 

You need a new husktop. Or to stop punching things when you get too mad. Either works for you. Well, now you’re forced to go to Maulmart physically. You’re going to have to write a script on paper now, which is quite difficult for you on account of pencils always snapping in your hand. As you begin the session of horrible dread concerning social interaction, you hear yet another thump, similar to the ones you’ve been hearing all morning. This time it is much closer to your vicinity. You decide to waste your time checking it out. You have nothing better to do. You draw back your curtains to face your neighbor hurling rocks at your window for no apparent reason. You hold out your hand to tell her to stop. She does. You open the window. 

She throws a rock at you. 

**  
**

D - - > Was that necessary 

D - - > Actually, I do not care 

D - - > Why are you throwing rocks at my window and at my physical form 

8ECAUSE, asshole, your internet is down!!!!!!!! Imagine this: You’re me 

D - - > That is a horrible and terrifying thought and I absolutely will not 

Sitting on your couch, 

D - - > I do not even have a couch 

D - - > I threw it away 

trying to enjoy some Troll Netflix after having a shitty, I mean GREAT FLARPing session, when all of a sudden it’s all like “FUCK YOU, YOU HAVE NO INTERNET!!!!!!!!” 

D - - > Then fi% your internet 

I can’t, dum8ass!!!!!!!! 

D - - > Why 

She side-eyes you with some kind of anger. Did you do something wrong? You hadn’t planned this interaction. Whatever. Too late. 

**Why do you think, dipshit?**

**  
**

D - - > I think because I e%ist 

D - - > It is like Troll Descartes said 

D - - > Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum 

D - - > I doubt therefore I think, I think therefore I am 

D - - > Of course, that makes you wonder if certain animals and trolls really e%ist if they cannot thi 

Oh my god, I don’t care! You’re so dense! I’m mooching off of your internet! 

D - - > Oh 

D - - > How did you get my password 

As if I would tell you! 

D - - > Well 

D - - > I’m changing it now 

D - - > Farewell, neighbor 

You slam shut the window despite your neighbors' complaints. It shatters. Why did you do that? 

**D - - > Ugh **

**  
**

Good jo8, Horsey 8oy! 

D - - > That was a poor job, actually 

D - - > I did not mean to do that 

D - - > Can you go away 

When you fix your internet!!!!!!!! 

You shout at Aurthour to change the internet password. You told Serket you were going to change it, but she apparently did not believe you. She lets out an angry shout and throws a rock at you again. 

D - - > Do you want anything else 

D - - > Or will you leave now 

Yeah, I want something else!!!!!!!! 

D - - > Horrible 

What was that???????? 

Anyways, I was wondering…….. 

D - - > I didn’t know you were capable of thinking 

I need some help hiding something!!!!!!!! 

D - - > But I guess if you weren’t capable of thinking then you wouldn’t e%ist 

And then I thought Wow, Equius is pretty good at hiding his significance! 

D - - > It would be pretty nice if you didn’t e%ist though 

So may8e he’d 8e good at hiding actual things that actually exist ::::) 

D - - > It is quite nice to think about life without such a horrible neighbor 

D - - > Neither of us are really listening to each other are we 

8ecause he is just so so dum8 and stupid that people wouldn’t ever expect him to have anything of worth! 

D - - > Oh, what do you need to hide 

D - - > Certainly not anything of worth 

It's a secret!!!!!!!! 

D - - > That is not a shock 

D - - > What do I get out of it 

The joy of helping your neigh8or???????? 

D - - > Unlikely 

What do you want then, Sweatquius? 

D - - > That is not my name 

D - - > You have known me for 6 sweeps 

D - - > Have you not picked up on my name until now 

Nope ::::) 

D - - > You will go to the store and acquire as many hoofbeast figurines as you can 

D - - > You will drop them off at my doorstep along with the secret item you wish to hide 

D - - > You will tell no one of this e%change 

Seriously? You want wiggler toys? 

D - - > They are not wiggler toys 

Fine!!!!!!!! 

D - - > Yes, this e%change is perfectly fine 

Now give me your new internet password! ::::) 

D - - > Goodbye, neighbor 

... 

WAIT, YOU THREW AWAY YOUR FUCKING COUCH???????? 

Time to write a script. 

  



	2. Fictional Nonfiction

  


Maulmart has pretty much anything a troll could ever need. If you had to make a choice to shop at one store and one store only, you would choose Maulmart. In fact, that is what you do. Maulmart is the only store you allow yourself to go to. Maulmart's very wide selection of products, both merchandise and service, is something that may make you think twice about all of the other stores Alternia hosts on its horrible planet. You don’t even think about them, to be honest. You have gone to Maulmart your entire life and you have no plans to change stores. You go to Maulmart all the time.

You were going to go to it earlier until the internet went out.

You go to their website. Was all of that a lie then? Or were you, perhaps, simply obscuring the truth? Does it even matter? Should you have reworded it? Rewording it makes you seem like a worse person. You do, in fact, go to Maulmart when you go to their website. You do not, however, physically go to Maulmart, despite what people assume when they hear the phrase “I go to Maulmart all the time.” You are relying on people's assumptions and how societal functions warp those assumptions, but you never lie by saying you go to Maulmart. So what is the point? Why not just lie?

Because lying goes against your morals. Lying is for lesser life forms such as lowbloods who are so disgusted with themselves that they cannot help but lie about every single thing. Obviously. You know this for a fact because lying is a disgusting and irrefutably awful thing to do. If lowbloods were smarter, they would simply obscure the truth as you do. So when the lowblooded greeter at the door tells you to tell him if you need any assistance, you obscure the truth and tell the gutterblooded fool that you go to Maulmart all the time and don’t need his worthless assistance. He stamps your hand with a “DO NOT ASSIST” stamp and lets you shop as you please. Since when are they implementing these? And what kind of pansies are asking for assistance in Maulmart? It isn’t like you’re in Troll IKEA or anything. It can’t be that hard to navigate.

If lying is against your morals, shouldn’t manipulation be as well? Is obscuring the truth considered manipulation? Should you feel bad for obscuring the truth if you feel bad for lying? Of course not. Who cares about manipulation? Manipulation is great. You’re a highblood after all. Manipulation and double-crossing are two things you do well. You will continue to manipulate and double-cross as long as it benefits you. In this case, it does. Having a gutterblood see you as some pansy who doesn’t know how to navigate a store his own darn self would be the worst possible thing you could ever imagine. You will continue manipulating the story so that you look like a good person.

You are left to shop as you please after politely telling the stupid lowblood to mind his own business. You adequately put him in his place, if his expression means anything. He has a look of unrighteous indignation that makes it seem as if you made him upset with just four simple words. It gives you a rush of pure delight, a feeling so rare and unknown to you nowadays. You’re better than this person clearly. Right now he is simply the inferior for having the temerity to claim any sort of power. You’re superior to him. If you were someone who cared about religious stereotypes, you would say you are a god to this troll. You don’t care about those though. You’re not an injudicious dullard spending his nights inebriated up on the most undignified chemical-filled materials. There will be no religious stereotypes. You care about mechanics. What is a good metaphor or simile for this part? Hmm…

You’re the oil that keeps this guy running smoothly? Oh, yes. That works brilliantly. He is all rusted up and you, the graceful oil have lathered—  
This is dumb. You can’t even hype yourself up correctly. Whatever. You were never good at writing anyway. You basically just blessed this guy by being in his presence. He is so low and meaningless that seeing you changed his life completely. You once again did something great by simply reinforcing the hemospectrum. You’re the best indigo-blood possible.

You begin to glance around the store, looking for any signs that will lead to the technology section. You find one. Whether or not you find it quickly is left unknown. The void surrounds the words, allowing one to write truths but describe a lie. The reader or listener is left to interpret things as they wish. These interpretations are often positive, so long as one chooses their words carefully. Being careless is never to one's advantage, especially with socialization. You have become more and more aware of this over time. It has gotten to the point where not planning interactions makes you feel things.  
That was an example of how not to word things. “It has gotten to the point” is written in such a way that you can easily gleam that that carelessness led to negative emotions. “Feel things,” while vague, still portrays those negative emotions. Nobody says “feel things”. You learned after an unsavory individual informed you of your social transgression in one of the most impolite ways possible. You certainly “felt things” then. You recall the conversation being pertinent to your social growth, however, so you continue to disregard those feelings to this night. Imagine the social misstep you would have taken if you said that kind of thing today. You imagine the hueless individual would die laughing at your misfortune. He still continues to do things like that either way though. So you suppose not much would change besides people inadvertently finding out about your unfortunate feelings rather than believing you are perfectly happy with how things are. How what particular things are? Does it matter? You allow the readers to contemplate. Let your story become whatever the participant wants it to be.

You’re absolutely certain that that story will be great. They will witness you. You are healthy. You are well. You are thriving. And they will know it.  
You peruse Maulmart’s selection of Indigo computers before finally choosing one. It is okay. You’re just going to have to upgrade it yourself.  


D - - > Fiddlesticks  


What if they don’t have any computers? They could be out of stock. They could have been all bought out by some selfish troll wishing to stockpile them so they can sell them at a higher price. What if that happened? Why would someone do that? That is stupid and would definitely never happen.  
You’ve heard people say that you have to look after yourself and only trust yourself. Well, screw that! You trust Maulmart!!!! Why WOULDN’T they have computers? It is Maulmart! They have everything! You trust them! You know there is a lot more to Maulmart than meets the eye, but surely they have computers. Right? You’ve purchased a computer from them before.  


So why is your thinkpan starting to convince you that they certainly do not have computers and that if you walk into that store and come out with nothing in hand that you will be openly mocked for the rest of your life? They have computers, right? Fudgesicles.  


Well, it takes a certain amount of cognitive ability (or lack thereof) to realize that maybe they are not doing so well. Maybe your imagination is far more attractive than what is happening in real life. How good of you to realize that. Even better, you happened to catch it before it was too late. You’re not an idiot for once, it seems. You’ve caught the lie in its web before it could catch you in said personal web. Its web of lies, that is.  


Web of lies. Why does the phrase “web of lies” seem prominent right now? What a strange thing to have to repeat in your head. Web of lies. Web of lies. Are you forgetting something? Not at all. Certainly not. You’re overthinking this again. It must be that time of the panic attack when your head starts filling itself with nonsense phrases that you deem important. You don’t know if that is what a panic attack really is because the phrase “panic attack” does not exist on Alternia. Mental health is poor here. You’re pretty sure this is normal. It isn’t technically even a panic attack you’re having anyway. The word “anxiety attack” is a much better fit for all of this.  


No person staying up for days on end to write a script for social interactions is having a normal cognitive experience. Not that you know that.  
You’re completely normal. You’re the healthiest darn troll you know. You don’t put any garbage in your body like some people you know. You don’t eat meat (although that was a personal choice related to morals, not exactly your health), and you cut sugars, processed foods, packaged foods, cooked foods, gluten, candies, carbs, and just every unhealthy type of food out there out of your diet. You don’t watch television or allow yourself to remain sedentary for too long. You self-discipline yourself when you step out of line and make sure to always be aware of the fact that you’re never going to be better than your superiors.  


You are the healthiest dang troll on Alternia and you are sure of it. Mental health is 100% perfect as long as you manage self-control. So whatever you’re doing right now is simply self-control. Self-control is always healthy. You are always healthy. Knowing this makes you even more healthy because it makes you content to practice even more self-control. Restricting your diet or exercising or making up new rules for living your life or fighting or talking to distinguished people who you dislike. All of these things are activities you use to practice self-control. These are the things that make you the healthiest you can possibly be.

SERKET. That is who you were thinking about when you were referring to the phrase “web of lies”. You now remember seeing her throw rocks at your very resilient windows. You simply forgot about it because you were so busy rewriting your script and philosophizing. What were you philosophizing about? You can’t quite remember. Everything has been a blur these past few nights. Why does she insist on throwing rocks at your window? Can’t she just contact you on Trolli...Oh, right. That is the exact reason you’ve been staying up. How did you forget? You’re going to have to punish yourself for being so forgetful. Later, that is. You scribble quickly on a sticky note to remember to do that. Back to your script. You can’t quite remember where you were. Let’s check. Right. You peruse Maulmart’s selection of Indigo computers before finally choosing one. It is okay. You’re just going to have to upgrade it yourself. But perhaps you do not deserve a better computer. You have been a horrible person recently. Being so forgetful. You cannot even remember what you were being forgetful of, but you are sure that it was a horrible thing to be forgetful about. Usually, when you are forgetful, you are forgetful about social rules or your own rules. Being forgetful is a horrible thing to be and you will never forgive yourself for forgetting to not be forgetful. You won’t forget to not forgive yourself for forgetting to not be forgetful either. You forget what you are doing for a second and have to gather your bearings. How long have you been awake? You forget. Something you do not forget, however, is how important it is to write whatever you’re writing right now. You need this script to be perfect. If you make any social missteps, your life is practically over. Another thing you never forget is how socially inept and useless you can be. That is why it is so important to finish the script. Okay, getting back into it. Where in the world were you?

You peruse Marmlaut’s sectielon of Indigo computers before fllainy choosing one. It is okay. You’re jsut giong to have to upgrade it yourself. Psreue you Maulmart’s soteeciln of Indigo cruempots before fnailly cnsioohg one. It oaky is. You’re jsut ginog to hvae to udrapge it yeoulrsf.  
“You puerse Mluaarmt’s sliceeton of Igidno ctopmeurs bforee flliany chooisng one. It is okay. You’re just gonig to have to ugparde it ysrluoef.” Are you reading this correctly? You have to be. So why does it seem so wrong? You can’t read for some reason.

The word “sleep” slowly drags itself across the room, making its presence known. It whispers, next attempting to nestle itself next to you. It attempts to comfort you, telling you that it can solve all of your problems. Just give in. Just sleep, it whispers to you.  
To which you react violently. You smack yourself in the face as hard as you can. A few loose teeth go flying out your mouth and bounce off of your desk. You didn’t need them anyway. You rarely eat anyways. You will have to remember to punish yourself further when you are finished writing this script. You scribble in another note so that you do not forget to do so.

Perhaps fire would be a good self-maintenance tool. You have a lighter SOMEWHERE in the hive. For candles, of course. You wonder how effective flames are as self-punishment. It might work…

But you suppose Aurthour would suspect something if he smelled something was off. That man has the STRONGEST sense of smell you’ve ever seen in anyone other than one of your blind acquaintances. You haven’t spoken to the girl many times though, so you cannot be quite too sure who would win in a smelling contest. The point, ignoring that ridiculous concept, is that Aurthour would notice. He would probably think the hive was being burnt down and go into panic mode.

Another rock hits your window. Why does that keep happening? Is it raining hail or something? Hail made of rocks? Is someone throwing rocks at your windows intentionally? Who would do that? Is that something people-- SERKET!

You swear you’ve had this revelation before, but you don’t remember it for some reason. You don’t know how you could have forgotten about your awful, awful, terrible neighbor. Sometimes you can still hear her voice. Yes, her horrible, terribly annoying voice that you cannot stand.  
You can still hear her voice because she is sitting outside your hive and screaming at you at the top of her lungs. She isn’t dead or anything. You don’t really wish for her to be either. You may not like the girl but if someone managed to kill her, you don’t really know how you’d feel about it. She has been such a nuisance in your life for so long that you’d feel kinda lost without her bothering you everynight. Not that you’d ever admit that. What are you even talking about?  
You need to force yourself to move from where you’re placed at your standing desk. You try commanding yourself.

D - - > Move

Yes, that should work perfectly. It should. Yet you do not move. You feel yourself sink to the floor. What are you doing?

D - - > Move.

You attempt saying it with more force than usual. Surely that will work. You expect to see yourself standing and walking towards the window to greet your Neigh8or very very soon.  


You find that you cannot see very much at all. Everything is dark. That is certainly normal. You are experiencing very normal things. This happens all the time. That is actually the truth. This happens every time you are sent into one of these spirals. You stay up for nights on end and this happens.

You wonder why you are being so lazy. You should never once allow yourself a moment of rest, but here you are not moving.

Your vision returns and you find yourself standing at your window. There is no Serket outside.  


...Did you imagine all of that? You must have. Why did you hear her voice so vividly? Is she hiding?

You think you understand.

She is trying to confuse you into believing you imagined it so that you will be unsuspecting when she attempts to read your mind. She tries to read your mind all of the time, so surely this would be her moment to strike. How many times must you remind her that your mind is impenetrable?  
You think you feel her attempt to penetrate your mind right now, actually. Yes, you can feel it vividly. You must stop this immediately. Yes, you will end it as soon as possible. You will do what you must to keep Serket in line. She will not expect pain. Except she will because you make her slap herself every time she steps out of line. It is just one of the things you do.

She really should not have gotten her arm made by you if she did not wish to be faced with the righteous punishment coming her way. You chuckle a bit to yourself as you think of the ever-entertaining mental image of Serket slapping herself in the face.

You will later find out that you really did imagine all of that and that Serket never attempted to read your mind. You do not know that as of right now, however. You are smug knowing how much leverage you have over the lesser cerulean. You will always be exactly one step ahead of her. You bet she will never try to read your mind again.

There is another moment of blindness before you find yourself back at your standing desk. Last Dim Season, you bought this desk and threw out every chair in your house to fend off moments of inactivity. You have refused to sit down in chairs ever since. You may skip leg day but that doesn’t mean you skip standing at all moments you get the chance. You need to be healthy and productive for the Empire.

There are four facts you have forced yourself to remember.

Sitting only encourages sloth and laziness in a troll. Sloth and laziness decrease productiveness and usefulness in a troll. Having less productiveness means having less worth. You, Equius Zahhak, are worthless if you sit down.

There have been studies to prove every single one of those facts. You have read about them. The studies were written by government approved and funded papers. This means they are accurate. The government would never lie.  
You are very interested in reading. You used to read every second you could. You spent many of your sweeps reading. It was almost as interesting sweeps ago as mechanics are to you now. You never stopped absorbing knowledge.  
That is, you didn’t stop until you realized how futile it all was. When you realized how undeserving you were of knowledge. When you learned how much the Empire discouraged learning. Why do something you are not meant to do? You tend to avoid serious reading now if only due to the intense urge to harm yourself when picking up a book.  


You used to read many things. Textbooks with surpluses of information still litter your hive. Textbooks like…

Your favorite childhood book! The thing barely resembles its’ original self due to the notating you did to it. You still hold quite the fondness for it, but you still cannot even stand to pick it up anymore. You don’t remember it being this blurry though. Maybe you should get your eyes checked. Or maybe you should get some sleep.

You should definitely not get some sleep. Sleep is an enemy to the Empire.

How did this book get to be in the middle of your workroom?

Actually, does it matter? It is just a book. There is no significance to this. Why should you care? You need to get back to what is important. Your script. You need to rewrite it. You need to. It needs to be perfect. It must be perfect.

You selection Maulmart’s peruse of Indigo before before computers choosing one. You’re just going to have to upgrade it yourself. Check compu ther before shopping and you see there are computer s at Maulmart so you simply go to buy a computer on the website. You have the computer delivered to your door and the script is done. Problems are null and void if slv evrythng aheand f time

\--

UH-AK, OU AH OLE!!!!!!!!

What.

>ET URR AY-E AH UH AN

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP 

AE UH AN EH LAIN UM EENS IMM

IF YOU JUST PRETEND TO NOT HEAR HER SHE’LL

IA-EH-E OU LOAW-E EH-YOU UH A

You give up. One shouldn’t give in to such sloth anyways. You open your eyes to see a horrifying image. Serket standing in your field of vision. She really took her muddy shoes into your h-- How did she get into your hive?  
Oh right. The broken window. You really need to get that fixed.

By you, you mean Aurthour.

You briefly wonder where the fine chap went, but you figure he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself.  
You groan. You need to stop collapsing on such an uncomfortable floor. Maybe you should get everything replaced with carpeting. But that doesn’t fit with your aesthetic and it is such a hassle to clean. You guess you’ll just have to deal with the pain. Either that or stop passing out every few nights. That is not likely though.

D - - > Er-eht

You wipe at your eyes. Your shades are nowhere to be seen. They must’ve fallen off when you collapsed. You aren’t like a hoofbeast. You fall when you sleep.  


You have a headache that won’t go away and Serket’s incessant rambling isn’t helping. You can’t understand anything she is saying. Her words are floating in and out, almost as if each sentence was a 12th Perigee’s present delicately wrapped in a void and presented to you, who was utterly unwanting of it. What happened?  


You sit up and immediately hit your head on the bottom of your standing desk. Oh. You must have been working on something. You hope Serket hasn’t peeked at whatever it was.

EIGH--  


Oh, I ugh ou er ah-you-e ed  


D - - > Ut

Why is she talking like that? Is she messing with you? You dust yourself off and move out from under your desk. As soon as you stand up, you feel lightheaded. You have to hold on to your desk to assure that you do not pass out again.  
The cruddy thing breaks under your weight. Darn it. Serket has an unreadable expression on her face as you fall to the floor along with the desk. Her face then disappears into the dark for a moment. Your vision is fading in and out. Is something bad happening?

>Uh……..  


D - - > Ut id ou un, Er-eht  


Ude????????  


D - - > I r ou ea-een ike at

You struggle to bring yourself back to your feet. You look up at the ceiling, obviously not expecting any bad to come of that. You’re immediately blinded by the lights. You hope that this is all temporary.

>D - - > Ut oo ou unt  


D - - > I are ou eekeen o ange  


D - - > Ust I e-eat I-elf in ahs-een ou iss

You hope not to let Serket know you have been blinded. You have regular lights. You should not be blinded by your lights. It is difficult not letting her know you are blind when you are desperately reaching for ANYTHING to hang onto. You don’t find anything and you crash to the floor again.

UDE, ISS IH-ENT UNNY!!!!!!!!  


D - - > Ut  


I ARE OU ACTING IKE ISS???????? ARE OU I-ING????????

You feel something pull at your shirt. You’re being shaken vigorously. Serket has a tone of frustration in her voice that you’ve never really heard before. Sure, she’s been angry at you (that’s all she ever really is towards you), but this is frustration. Frustration is quite a lot different than anger. You tell her to stop shaking you. She doesn’t

WHY ARE YOU SPEAKING SO WEIRD????????

You’re delighted to hear that Serket has stopped speaking so strangely. You’re also delighted to see that your vision has returned. Or were the lights really just out…? You need to get Aurthour to change the lightbulbs.

D - - > Ah, the lights are back on  


WHAT?  


D - - > I request that you unhand me  


NO, WHAT THE FUCK????????  


D - - > Language, Serket  


D - - > It isn’t befitting of someone of your caste  


I THOUGHT YOU WERE DYING, YOU WHORE OF A MAN!!!!!!!!  


D - - > And that concerns you for what reason

Ha. Got her. She lets out a huff and drops you. You’ll take anything you can take. A good jab can be rare to come by.

D - - > You’ve been getting soft, Serket  


D - - > You surely must realize that that isn’t beneficial to either of us or our goals  


D - - > As nobility, it is important to  


Why do you never shut up? Like, OH MY GOD, you NEVER shut up. Were you made to 8e someone who doesn’t shut up?  


Make sure our image is one of  


Like, I literally cannot fathom 8eing so annoying and so self-a8sor8ed that you can’t listen to people. I cannot fathom someone loving their own voice as much as you do. You are horri8le in conversa  


Which is why it is important to make sure we are not seen as too soft. Our hues are ones that must be respected which is why it behooves you to  


THEN you go acting like you’re dying for GOD KNOWS what reason and THEN you start trying to lecture me when YOU were the one who  


Societal norms and live up to your caste name because if you do not  


LIKE 8LAH 8LAH 8LAH WE GET IT YOU’RE A LOSER WHO HAS A STICK UP HIS ASS. Scratch THAT, YOU’RE A LOSER WHO IS  


Shame brought upon your entire  


WAS THAT A GODDAMNED HORSE PUN????????  


D - - > What  


YOU SAID 8EHOOVES.  


D - - > Well, yes  


D - - > That is a word  


It is NOT.  


D - - > It is  


I don’t 8elieve you. You really thought you could slip that 8y without me hearing it? You really used a stupid horse pun while LECTURING me?  


D - - > It was not a pun  


D - - > But I am not surprised that you do not have as large of a verbal corpus as I do  


I have the LARGEST corpus. Larger than yours. Have you seen how many I pull in from my FLARPing sessions?  


D - - > Corpus not corpse  


D - - > Do you wish for me to pull out a dictionary since you continue making yourself 100k like a stupid wiggler who was not even sch001fed properly  


ANYWAYS, you said I was getting soft, right? I remem8er hearing something like that in a really dum8 sounding voice.  


D - - > Yes, I said that  


W8ll, I th8nk Y8U’R8 th8 8ne g8tting s8ft!!!!!!!! I’m perfectly fine!!!!!!!! I’m not the one who just acted like a MANIAC and pretended to 8e dying for no reason!!!!!!!! Just for attention. That’s what you just did, you dum8 attention whore!!!!!!!!  


D - - > It sounds like someone is getting triggered  


I 8M N8T G8TTING TRIGGERED!!!  


D - - > You’re triggered  


D - - > I do not know what just happened but I can assure you it was not intentional  


D - - > However, I can also assure you that I am perfectly fine since you apparently have gotten so soft that you need to be assured of that  


D - - > Have you really started caring and worrying about people  


D - - > That is kind of pathetic  


Do you want me to punch you in the face then???????? Will that prove you wrong, asshole?  


D - - > You can certainly t

She attempts to hit you but you dart out of the way.

D - - > Nice try  


Wh…  


D - - > What  


Did…  


D - - > Take your time

You glance at your watch. There is a clock right behind you but you enjoy being passive-aggressive from time to time.

Did the room just go dark for you too???????? As soon as I went to hit you, the lights went off!!!!!!!!  


D - - > Are they back on now  


D - - > Because they certainly are for me  


Well, yeah. 8ut I’m just saying.  


D - - > That doesn’t seem too abnormal to me  


D - - > It isn’t a very big deal  


It just caught me off guard, I guess.  


D - - > Anyways  


D - - > What did you want  


Oh yeah.

There is a second where she doesn’t say anything. She is most likely attempting to have a moment of suspense so she can pull off a dramatic reveal. Every blueblood does that at least once in their life so it isn’t that surprising and you’re guilty of it yourself. Serket does it pretty much anytime she wants to say anything to you.

After her moment is over, she screams this while attempting to hit you again:  


YOU ASSHOLE! YOU CAN’T JUST MAKE ME HIT MYSELF FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!

Of course, you dart out of the way again. Once again, you are proven to be superior to her. She trips over her own stupidity and stumbles to the ground.

WHY DID THE ROOM GO DARK AGAIN?  


D - - > It did not  


Y8S IT DID! I TRI8D T8 H8T Y8U 8ND TH8 R88M W8NT D8RK!!!!!!!!  


D - - > Dramatic effects, perhaps

You exhale air in a manner that might or might not be perceived as laughter. It will have to be left up to interpretation.

D - - > No, but I seriously don’t know what you are talking about

Vriska looks dumbfounded. She knows as much about whatever just happened as you do. Except she knows a little less because she’s a little less better than you.

I…  


Hold on. Do that little darty thing you did earlier.  


D - - > That  


D - - > “Darty thing”  


D - - > I do not see what you mean  


Just m8ve fast, you idiot!

Simple enough. Still, you do not appreciate being ordered around by… her.

D - - > I’m not in the mood, actually  


D - - > You are lesser than me, you know  


I don’t think so!!!!!!!! Come on, just do it.  


D - - > How about no  


Uhhhhhhhh.

She struggles a very long while before finally spitting out...  


Please????????

You sigh and do the “darty thing.” Clank, clank, clank. Your metal shoes drag you down a bit, but you run as quickly as you usually do. She lets foul words spill out of her mouth for absolutely no apparent reason.

Holy shit dude!!!!!!!!  


D - - > What  


D - - > Have you never seen someone run before  


Well, duh, of course, I have. That isn’t what is cool right now. I guess you’re just too stupid to realize what you’re doing, huh?  


D - - > What  


D - - > Do you mean running  


D - - > I don’t understand what you’re talking about  


You really do have a slow thinkpan, don’t you?  


D - - > I do not believe so  


Just shut up and listen to me! When you run, the room straight up goes dark! Your speedy-speed is messing with the power or something!

That is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard.

D - - > That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard  


Wrong! That is the COOLEST thing you’ve ever heard! Why didn’t you tell me you had powers other than your freakish strength?  


D - - > Because I do not  


D - - > And because I do not like talking to you  


Has any8ody ever told you you’re cool, Equius?  


D - - > No  


D - - > Is this the part where you attempt to become my friend to use me for your advantage  


D - - > I do not wish to become your friend  


8ecause I’ve always definitely totally thought you were really cool. Did you know that? I’ve always definitely a8solutely wanted to 8e your friend. Did you know that?  


D - - > Why do our conversations always turn into this  


Turn into what, dear NEIGH8or? ::::)  


D - - > Turn into this thing where neither of us  


That was a horse pun 8y the way.  


Are listening to each other because neither of us cares enough about what the other is saying  


That’s just a sign of how great our friendship chemistry is ::::)

She invades your personal space by clinging to you. You expect to begin sweating from nervousness but find that you are currently incapable of sweating, which is strange considering you are pretty much always capable of sweating.

D - - > Erm  


D - - > You’re wrong but okay  


So why aren’t we friends? We could even 8e 8EST friends.  


D - - > Because neither of us like each other  


Ohhhhhhhh, come onnnnnnnn…….. We both know that you really care about me at least a little bit. You big lug, always joking around!  


D - - > I do not joke around  


Well, may8e that’s why you’re so unlika8le. If you would just 8ecome my 8EST FRIEND, I could teach you how to joke around!  


D - - > You just insulted me and yet you’re still attempting to become my friend  


Well, y’know, friend and enemy are practically the same word. Look at how you treat Clowny-dude.

NOW you’re sweating. Serket looks squicked out but says nothing.

D - - > You mean Makara  


D - - > What about The highb100d  


Well, y’know. Ya insult him a lot and STILL refer to him as your friend……..  


D - - > Hrrrmn

Serket is surprisingly dedicated to clinging onto you. She hasn’t let go of your arm and she doesn’t show any signs of ever intending to let go of your arm.

You feel your face cool up at the thought of The Terrible Horrible yet Utterly Magnificent Highblood. Cool up being the Blueblooded term for the lowblooded alternative “heat up”. You turn away (as best as you can with Serket practically hanging from your arm) and gather your bearings.

You have absolutely no feelings for The Amazing, Perfect, Disgusting, Absolutely Horrible, Magnificent, Marvelous Highblood and you must always remember that.

D - - > That is different  


D - - > Also, you should really treat him with more respect  


D - - > He is not just some “Clowny Dude”  


D - - > He is The Highb100d  


D - - > Emphasis on The

She scoffs.

Pleeeeeeease! You and I 8oth know he’ll never live up to His name. I mean, have you SEEN him? Clown-Face Mcgee’ll just 8e another has-8een. I really don’t see what you see in the guy.  


D - - > I have my doubts about that  


D - - > I really believe that with my help, he can realize his true potential  


D - - > I will keep trying even if it kills me

Serket snorts before patting you on the head derisively. You absolutely despise that.

I can’t imagine the loser ever letting it get to that point 8ut if that’s what keeps you going then sureeeeeeee.

She finally releases your arm. She claps, almost like an auxiliatrice schoolfeeder attempting to herd her younger jades into a line for the Grand Mother Grub Slaughtericious Gala. That event happens very rarely so you believe the simile matches accurately according to Serket’s enthusiasm. You suppose you can admire Serket, if only for that. You wonder how it is possible for her to be so enthusiastic.  
You also wonder, if only for a brief moment, if you too deserve or could even have such enthusiasm. You realize almost too quickly that you could never have so much of it.

8ack to 8usiness!  


D - - > Yes  


D - - > We are basically business partners at this point  


D - - > Considering how often we are in  


D - - > As you would put it  


D - - > Cahoots  


D - - > So we will proceed to bring the conversation back to business  


D - - > Though it does not seem like it ever concerned business at all  


And 8usiness partners are 8asically 8est friends, right?  


D - - > No  


I’m glad that you agree with me that 8usiness partners ARE in fact, 8est friends. Our friendship chemistry is just so strong. STRONG. See what I did there? You’re STRONG!!!!!!!!  


D - - > I am

You flex. That is another one of your habits. You have to stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.

Man, just look at that desk. Completely demolished 8ecause you’re so damn strong. This is why we should 8e 8est friends.  


D - - > Because I ruined my desk  


TOTALLY!  


D - - > I know you don’t really want to be my friend  


D - - > Why are you trying  


May8e I ACTUALLY DO want to 8e your friend, Equius  


D - - > You do not  


Why not just try not 8eing so alone for once? I’m practically lending you a 8ranch here, Horse guy.  


D - - > Ugh  


D - - > Have you gotten the hoofbeast figurines yet  


You’re changing the topic 8ut noooooooo.  


D - - > I need to go to Maulmart tomorrow  


D - - > So if you truly wish to become my  


D - - > So-called best friend  


D - - > That spot is taken so you cannot actually be that  


D - - > But if you wish to pretend in your inferior thinkpan that you are  


D - - > Then just come with me to Maulmart so I do not 100k like a weirdo  


You’ve got a deal, 8estie!!!!!!!! ::::)  


D - - > Okay

She offers her hand for you to shake. You refuse to break her hand and she looks offended. You turn away. It seems like the girl is finally about to leave when she pauses, her foot hitting something hard on the floor, as far as you can gather from the noise that results from it.

What is this?

You see her bend over to pick something up in the corner of your vision. You disregard her and go back to work. Whatever she found couldn’t be too important.

She leaves by climbing out your broken window. You are once more left with your own thoughts.

You never did get any real sleep.

  



	3. Nixed Eyes, Shaded Lies

  


You’re awakened by the telltale sound of glass smashing. When did you go to sleep? It doesn’t feel like you got much of it, so it couldn’t have been too long ago. That is good. Lots of sleep and no work makes Equius Zahhak a dull boy. 

You’re fairly certain that is how the saying goes.

Well, time to get ready to punch someone if it really comes to it. You don’t like hurting other people, but you live on Alternia. If you must protect yourself, you will. 

Well, perhaps. You haven’t yet had to protect yourself. People do not really wander into your neighborhood much. They would have to climb many cliffs and stairs and The Spider would likely get them first. You aren’t exactly sure if you WOULD wish to harm someone to protect yourself, anyways. You do not think you would be able to live with yourself if you hurt anyone. That is part of the reason you stay in your hive most nights: you are too STRONG for your own good.

...You should seriously check out that noise.

** D - - > Hello**

**D - - > Show yourself**

Or else what? You don’t want to hurt anyone. Why are you threatening someone you have not seen? You are STRONG enough to fight someone off if you need to, but you doubt anyone would actually try to fight you. You are scary-looking and most people are put off the second they look at you. Staring into the mirror every night has already proved that. 

You suppose you’re just saying these things to seem better than you really are. You’re too much of a coward to hurt anyone. You know you should probably rethink your pacifist ways for Alternia’s sake, but you feel pained when considering doing so. 

The Empire would be so disappointed in you.

You find yourself wandering towards the source of the noise as you sort through your thoughts. Why are you such an awful indigo blood? Why can’t you just be what you pretend to be? Why can’t you be-

** **Why can’t you 8e a steak?!!!!!!!!** **

****

****

What.

** Oh, YOU’RE here.**

You look up to see Serket rooting through your fridge like some trash panda. With her ugly greasy hair, she might as well be one.

** D - - > Oh, you are here**

** D - - > This is my hive, you know**

** D - - > You are the one who should not be in here**

** D - - > What are you doing**

**What does it look like????????**

**D - - > It 100ks like you are making a mess**

She disregards you and continues what she was doing. 

...Until she runs out of fridge to root through.

**D - - > Are you done**

**Where is all your food????????!**

**D - - > It was in the fridge until you took it all out and ruined the organization Aurthour had done**

**There is literally no food in here to organize. There are like three things in here, tops.**

**D - - > Why does it matter**

** D - - > You should not be in my fridge**

**I’m starving, Equius.**

**D - - > Then go get food from your hive**

** D - - > I do not really care**

**Hey, if you’re thinking I just 8roke into your hive to look through your thermalhusk, you’re completely wrong. That’s on you, if you think that is what normal people break into people’s hives for. Fatass.**

**D - - > I would not put it past you**

** D - - > And the blueb100ded term is fridge, Serket**

**Whatever! Are you ready to go Maulmart shopping? You pro8a8ly need to, considering the state of...that. How are you even eating?**

...Right. 

**D - - > That is none of your business**

****

****

** D - - > Let me get ready**

** D - - > I will be back**

You turn and leave the room just as Serket starts complaining about the lack of chairs in your hive. You are quite glad to get away from her.

It seems like your routine today will have to wait. You can yell at yourself in the mirror later. You can’t stand the thought of Serket eavesdropping on your nightly insult-session. You would likely be mocked for the rest of your life. And you refuse to be mocked by someone lower than you. (mostly)

...

You need to get dressed. Where in the blazes are your shades? You swear you had them on earlier. 

It is horrible to think that Serket has seen you without your shades on THRICE now. You very much need to locate them. She does not have the right to see your eyes unshielded. The very thought is making you uncomfortable. And being uncomfortable makes you angry. Being angry is a given, but the FACT that being angry is a given makes you even angrier. You need some milk. Or a towel. Or a wall to punch. Or to talk to your damn moirail! But you can’t do that until you get a new monitor. And you need to go to Maulmart to get a new monitor. Which means more interactions with Serket. Which just makes you angrier. Which makes you punch things. Which makes you angrier.

Your anger is all your fault. You destroyed your monitor which basically caused all of your problems. Except for the internet. That was the cause of the monitor problem. Maybe you should stop punching things when you get angry.

...You think as you punch a wall. You are quite hypocritical, but you don’t care. Nobody ever really points it out (because nobody talks to you) and it helps your image to be right even when you aren’t. But now you’re mad about punching your wall again.

** D - - > God dam**

** D - - > Darn it**

** D - - > Darn**

** D - - > it**

** D - - > Darn it**

** D - - > What is wrong with me**

** D - - > What is **

Oh, stars. Oh, gracious. You can’t have. You really can’t have.

** D - - > Wrong**

** D - - > With me**

You seriously almost cursed. What if you cursed before without knowing it? How are you so indecent? This would be a really good time to insult yourself in the mirror, but you obviously cannot do that. That has been established. You don’t even know why it matters that it has been established when you obviously know that for a fact. Who would it have to be established for? Nobody can read your thoughts but you, despite how much people try to.

You hate changes in your routine so much. You hate changes in general. Why can’t you just go about your night like normal? And why do you feel like crying? Are you seriously going to cry over this? You’re a coward.

** D - - > Why can’t I just**

You hear the door open. You cease all speaking and pretend to look for your shades. You try your best to act like you don’t have wetness in your eyes. You are sweating. That is it. You are known to sweat. That is one of the things that you do.

Your lusus enters the room, dusting and cleaning things, as he normally does. This is normal. You are normal and okay and there is no reason for him to question you. You are not some lowblooded pansy who cries over the tiniest of things. You are a MAN and a HIGHBLOOD and you should start acting like it. So he is definitely not questioning you. You are in a normal situation.

He is questioning you. You can feel him staring at you. Why are you on the floor? You’re such an idiot. You need to turn and face your lusus like a man. 

** D - - > Hello, Aurthour**

You force a smile on your face. You’re sure it looks frightful, but that is against the point. You are smiling.

Aurthour blinks in confusion. He mustn’t understand. You need to drive it into his tiny lusus brain. (His brain is actually quite large but that is beside the point).

** D - - > I am very happy**

Aurthour raises an eyebrow. He cannot speak himself, but you know for a fact that he understands troll speech. This is actually pretty obvious considering how often he does what you say. He can even answer yes or no questions. His species is among one of the smartest lusus breeds out there. It is befitting of someone of your status to have him as a lusus, so you are quite alright with being his charge. (You also care about him quite a lot but that isn’t something you would admit to any other troll)

****

****

** D - - > I am happy**

You’ve noticed recently that Aurthour has been exceedingly concerned for you. You’ve been taking every opportunity that you can get to convince him that there is no reason to be worried. You are perfectly fine, after all. Wasting time to worry about someone who doesn’t need worrying about is something that should be avoided at all costs.

Aurthour pats you on the head before handing you your coveted possession: Your shades. Where could he have found them?

** D - - > That is convenient**

** D - - > I was searching for those**

** D - - > Anyways**

** D - - > I am leaving**

** D - - > Now**

****

****

** D - - > I am very fine and okay and normal**

You shuffle out of the room as quickly as you can. You’re absolutely sure that he does not find that weird at all. You were slick with your escape. You have definitely proven that there is nothing to worry about. 

You trip on your own feet and find yourself vulnerable to the laws of gravity. You land with a very loud THUNK. Your shades fly off of your face during the gravity ordeal. Serket screeches like a trash mammal in a blender, but, really, everything about that girl reminds you of a trash mammal in a blender. You find yourself wanting to make a quick quip about the girl before you move to grab your shades. Such is the curse of always having to act like you’re better than everyone. Oh well. Your priorities may be out of shape, but you don’t exactly care. It isn’t like you can just be honest and be nice to people. That is ridiculous.

** D - - > You really have gotten soft, Serket**

** D - - > Honestly**

** D - - > Ne%t thing you know, you’re going to say something pathetic like “Are you okay” in a concerned lusus-ly voice and offer to kiss the boo-boo better**

** D - - > Stop acting like a wiggler**

** I didn’t scream 8ecause I care about you, dipshit! **

** D - - > Lying to yourself helps no one**

You stand up. Serket gnashes her teeth at you, trying desperately to convince you that she isn’t a pansy. She totally is, though. You feel laughter bubbling up in your chest. Still, you stay composed. All of your bad moments before this are suddenly made better. You’re so much better than Serket. She can’t pretend to not care about other people to save her life. Nobody is better at being blue than you are.

** No, you dum8ass! I didn’t see you coming! When your fat ass fell, you almost 8lew out my eardrums!**

** D - - > What a convenient e%cuse**

** D - - > And your fat remark is simply untrue**

** D - - > Hopefully**

** Why do you never shut up?**

** D - - > Because it is my job to make sure people know their role**

** D - - > Also**

** D - - > Watch your language**

** Fuck, shit, piss, hell. Do you want me to say any more?**

** D - - > You are upsetting Aurthour and that is simply not allowed**

** A8RTH8UR ISN’T 8V8N IN TH8 F8CKING R88M!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > I can communicate with him telep-- pha hahahaha**

Drat. You were hoping you could say that with a straight face. Maybe she would have been convinced. That would be pretty entertaining. She already believes you have powers to… turn off lights? You do not understand that.

Of course, none of what you told her would be lying. It wouldn’t be lying, because you would eventually tell her the truth. Which means it would simply be a truth that was obfuscated for an indeterminate amount of time. That isn’t lying. Fictional nonfiction can work, even if none of it is nonfiction. You’re just that amazing at keeping secrets.

Serket’s eye bugs out of her head as she gapes at you.

** You--**

** D - - > Indeed, I am me**

** Shut up while I’m doing my dramatic moment!**

** D - - > Literally none of what you were doing was dramatic**

** D - - > And there was no reason for a dramatic moment**

** D - - > Why don’t you take to hiding in dark rooms as I do**

** D - - > It elevates your moment drastically**

** Don’t tell me how to do things! Your dark-room trick is 8oring! Since when is there ever going to 8e a viewing feature on Trollian? That’s ridiculous. It’ll neveeeeeeeer happen! Now let me say what I want to say.**

** D - - > It is just in beta, you know**

** D - - > And I really just like the dark**

** Anyways, did you seriously just MAKE A JOKE? And LAUGH at it? Who even are you?**

** D - - > Er**

You see now what her (horrible) dramatic moment was for. That was a great social screw-up. 

Is screw up a curse? 

** D - - > Pardon me for a moment**

** Huh?**

** D - - > I, uh**

** D - - > Forgot to turn the oven off**

Wait, is that how the saying goes?

** D - - > Dur, the, uh,**

** D - - > Oven, I left it **

** D - - > On**

Serket turns to glance at the oven behind her. It seems stone-cold to her. Fuck. You mean frick. Fudge? Fridge!

** D - - > My clothes are drying in the fridge and I need to prepare a new load**

Nailed it. She won’t expect a single thing.

...Wait, expect what? You aren’t exactly sure what you did that for. You mostly just wanted to get out of that confusing situation. Oh, well. At least you aren’t in that situation anymore.

You successfully retreat into your ablutiontrap room. You feel Serket’s stare as you slam and lock the door. You find yourself acting without knowing what you’re going to do.

** D - - > What is wrong with you**

You’re getting angry again. You need to stop and calm down. Maybe you could-

** WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!**

Glass shards cut at your fingers. You’ve smashed in your mirror once again. You are so impulsive. What, as you asked, is wrong with you?

Your mirror isn’t the only thing that will be smashed if you can help it. Your front teeth, your nose, your-

You have a guest. You cannot just give in to such primitive urges. You will simply have to do that later. So you need to make a note. You don’t really have any writing utensils in the bathroom, (the proper word, which you, unfortunately, did not use earlier. Another issue that will have to be addressed.) so you guess you’ll just have to make a mental note.

There are many things that will need to be addressed when you get free time. 

•You laughed at said joke

•You nearly cursed 

•You possibly cursed in your mind without knowing it 

•You possibly cursed audibly without knowing it 

•You embarrassed yourself with the oven remark (Though you absolutely saved it with your fridge e%cuse) 

•You almost cried like some lowb100ded special snowflake 

•You accidentally called the bathroom the lowb100ded word 

•You keep smashing things when you get angry 

You seriously need to duel with your bots when you get free time. That is the simplest way to address these problems. Training to fix your mistakes is an important quality to have when living and breathing for the purpose of serving your Empire.

Okay. You think you’re okay now.

Well, you better be. If you aren’t, that is another thing you will need to address.

You open the bathroom door and run face-first into Serket. She pushes you to the ground as a result. She doesn’t want you touching her, which is understandable. You’re better than her and she cannot stand that. You feel the same about The Highblood. It would simply be platonically inappropriate to have any form of physical contact with a superior. 

** Are you done angsting in the respite8lock???????? And don’t touch me. Gross!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Angsting**

** You’re screaming at yourself and punching mirrors like you’re insane. Do you think I can’t hear you? Freak case.**

** D - - >**

** D - - > That mirror was broken before this**

** D - - > You should probably get your brain checked out if you heard me screaming**

** D - - > You are lower so it would only make sense that your brain is lesser than mine**

** Oh my godddddddd. Why don’t we just see how fucked up your 8rain is then.**

You experience the pulling at your psyche that occurs whenever Serket attempts to pick at your thoughts. 

** > D - - > That isn’t going to work**

** Ugh, I know!!!!!!!! I thought may8e you 8eing angry would make your mind weaker! Shut up!**

** D - - > You failed**

** D - - > You do remember who made your arm, correct**

** You’ve reminded me a 8illion times, yes.**

** D - - > Ah**

You don’t feel like making her slap herself right now, which is new. You almost always find entertainment in her slapping herself. 

** D - - > Anyways**

You stand up without using your hands. It is important not to crack the tile floor. How embarrassing would that be? Having a reliable and uncracked tile floor is important to a man (and his aesthetic). Besides, a cracked floor is more fitting for a lowblood than an Indigo. It would probably ruin your reputation. Not that anyone ever visits other than Serket. And she rarely visits anyways. 

** D - - > Let’s go**

** Yeah, yeah. Okay. Where’s your wallet?**

** D - - > Hm**

** D - - > Yeah**

** D - - > Hold on**

You spend about a quarter of an hour searching for your wallet before discovering it in Serkets back pocket.

** Hahahahahahahaha! Sucker! You looked so stupid. Hilarious.**

** D - - > What was the point of you doing that**

** To prove I can steal from you anytime I want ::::)**

She stands near the front door, now holding the wallet mockingly.

** Come and get it!**

You dart towards her and steal it before she can even blink. 

Then she does blink, seeming quite confused.

** Hey, wait. You cheated!**

** D - - > What**

** You did the darty thing again!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > You’re ridiculous**

** D - - > Let’s go**

She huffs before taking a step towards the door. There is a crunch beneath her feet. Drat.

\--

You and Serket (who has taken to, for some reason, calling your ‘duo’ “Team Dou8lecrossers, or as you would put it, Team %%ers) enter Maulmart, both respectively looking disrespectfully like messes. You, personally, are hideous because you no longer don your (now broken beyond repair) shades and Serket just looks… generally ugly. You’ve said it before and you’ll say it again. She looks like a trash creature. You would offer her your shampoo if you weren’t worried about seeming too nice. Such is the curse of being of a blue hue. You can never be too offputting. 

As soon as you two enter the store, Serket gets distracted looking at wiggler card games. You haven’t even gotten a cart yet and she is already abandoning you. You aren’t surprised. 

** D - - > Must you really waste our time 100king at Troll Magic: The Gathering cards**

** Yes! Shut up and let me look, you loser. Hey, you might find something YOU want.**

** D - - > As if**

You spend a moment laughing internally. You couldn’t imagine ever investing time and money in such childish--

Are...Are those hoofbeast based cards you see?

  
  


They’re… They’re… magnificent… How could such beautiful things exist and you have no idea? Surely you would have found out about these before this moment? You need 100 packs of these.

But how are you going to buy 100% of these beautiful cards without Serket noticing? You can’t just be interested in things. That isn’t normal. Who has interests? You’d look like a total weirdo. A childish weirdo at that. You can’t buy them.

Unless you...don’t. But is that really a good decision? Are you really going to steal something just so you look like a better person?

…

Yeah, probably.

** D - - > What childish cards**

** D - - > Honestly, they should all be banned**

** Why the fuck would someone ban cards? It isn’t like they’re illegal or anything. **

** D - - > Either that or burn them**

Vriska--Er, Serket-- shoots you an aggravated look before picking up the card packs she was looking at and stuffing them into her pocket. She certainly isn’t paying. You aren’t surprised by HER doing it, but… Are YOU seriously considering stealing? You’re supposed to be better than Serket. You’re an Indigo blood, for Peette’s sake! You can’t steal the EMPIRE’S money. It is rightfully theirs. If you steal from the Empire, you basically deserve to die.

Does Vriska deserve to die for stealing, though? It isn’t technically harming anyone if you steal. There are barely any employees working at this store. There is a greeter at the door, sure, but he is the only real worker here. Everything else is automated. There isn’t anything really stopping you from stealing. Besides, the greeter is a useless rusty. He legally can’t stop you from stealing. So what is the--

** Why are you just standing there staring into space?**

** D - - > Why do you need to know**

** D - - > Let’s go**

Maybe next time. You go and grab a cart, noting the newly made indentation in the holding bar. Oops.

** Good job, dum8ass. **

** D - - > Oh well**

** Hey, why don’t you ever use that freakish strength of yours to do something cool?**

** D - - > Because what you consider to be c001 and what I consider to be c001 are two different things**

** D - - > And it isn’t freakish**

** Well, I think those fasty-fast powers of yours are pretty cool. May8e you could use those to yoink a few things? That would 8e pretty cool.**

** D - - > I’m not a thief, Serket**

** D - - > And I still don’t know what you mean by “fasty-fast” powers**

** D - - > As far as I can tell, I have no other abnormalities other than my STRENGTH**

** Yeah? Your STRENGTH? Why do you even pronounce it like that?**

What does she mean? You’re pretty sure you pronounce it normally. 

You disregard her and begin (gently) pushing the cart forward. Computer monitors, here we come. As long as Serket doesn’t stop and--

** Holy shit!**

You sigh and halt the cart. You aren’t going anywhere without Serket. You don’t want to look like a weirdo. 

You take a glance at whatever item Serket so very badly covets. She holds up what looks to be a… dress? You never really believed Serket to be a dressy girl, but maybe you’ve been wrong. You’ve known her for sweeps, but it isn’t like the two of you are close or anything. For as far as you know, she could roleplay as a fairy to woo boys in her free time or something ridiculous like that. You doubt she does stuff like that, though.

D - - > Do you really want to be the b100 b100d known for wearing clothes from Maulmart 

** How are they going to know where I got it from?**

You glance around the store. You spot three other trolls with the exact same dress in their cart. 

** D - - > Put it in the cart, then**

** You’re paying for it.**

You are absolutely not paying for it. You inform her of that fact but she just snickers and disregards you. 

She continues looking through the clothing rack. You suppose you’ll wait for her.

** I don’t think Maulmart clothing is that 8ad, actually**

** D - - > That is because your standards are low**

** Hey, I think you’re the one with low standards. You’re o8sessed with that clown thing.**

** D - - > Makara is not a thing**

** The guy is something, that’s for sure. I don’t even get what the dude’s deal is. And how’d you even know who I was talking a8out? All I said was Clown Thing and you automatically knew who I was talking about. You ARE o8sessed with him.**

** D - - > You should be more respectful when talking about him**

** D - - > Which means not referring to him in such a casual manner**

** D - - > He is more than just a person**

** What next, you’re going to tell me he is some fucking Messiah personified? That is the dum8est 8ullshit I have ever heard!**

** D - - > Language**

** D - - > I did not say that**

** D - - > Of course he isn’t a “Messiah”**

** D - - > I simply meant he is higher than us and should be treated that way**

** He’s higher in more than one way, I’d say. Why are you so defensive a8out him?**

** D - - > Pardon**

** D - - > I am not being defensive**

** You are totally 8eing defensive. I say one thing about him and you start lecturing me. Why? **

** D - - > He is better than us**

**8ULLSHIT!!!!!!!!**

**He 8n’t 8etter than you and he certainly 8n’t 8etter than me! And if he isn’t 8etter than you, then that is a huge feat! He’s the weirdest guy I’ve ever met.**

** D - - > Stop**

** You can’t just walk around idolizing a fucking weirdo CLOWN and then go and pretend you’re 8etter than me and that you’re not a total weirdo freak! I 8et you’d let the idiot kill you! You’re such a freak!**

** D - - > I would want nothing more than to die at his hands if he wished for that to be my fate, but that is not important right now**

** D - - > Literally just shut up**

** Wow, “shut up”? How fucking formal of you, Zahhak!**

** D - - > You will shut your trap, Vriska**

** D - - > People are staring**

** Vriska????????**

You snap off the cart’s handle.

** D - - > Just be quiet**

** D - - > People are staring at us**

** There is literally nobody looking at us.**

** D - - > They were**

** THEY WEREN’T!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > They are now**

** 8ECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING THEM!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Stop drawing attention to us**

** WHY???????? IT ISN’T A 8IG DEAL!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > You will be quiet and stop drawing attention to us because I said so**

Vriska huffs and crosses her arms before quietly turning back to look at the clothing again. Her silence seems to be a sign that she is upset with you. Still, you were correct. (You always are.) She is quiet because you said she would be. 

Well, she is quiet for a moment. 

Serket chortles before jabbing you in the side. 

** Look!**

You take a wary glance towards a shirt she seems particularly entertained by. The incorrectly labeled crop top brings no entertainment to you. 

** D - - > I do not understand the comedic quality you have supposedly attributed to this shirt.**

** Dude, you should 8uy it! It’s great, trust me.**

** D - - > That is ridiculous**

** D - - > It does not have my sign on it**

** Is that the only o8jection you have for wearing the thing? We can iron on a sign if it’s really that 8ig a deal. The shirt is hilarious! Come oooooooonnnnnnnn.**

** D - - > It says Horhe**

** D - - > It is misspelled**

** D - - > How is that funny**

** The misspelling is what MAKES it funny**

** D - - > I do not know how to use an iron**

** D - - > So your answer is no**

She scoffs and rolls her eye before jabbing you again. Why must she cause physical harm to you? You wish to roll to cast psychic damage. Not that you would know much about doing that. You do not have any interesting powers, just a disturbing amount of STRENGTH. Besides, you’re pretty sure that that is a phrase from one of her silly games.

** You’re talking to the FLaRPer who spent hundreds working on her cosplay. Do you seriously think she can’t teach you how to use a damn iron?**

Ah, her silly yet fatal games.

** D - - > Ugh**

** D - - > Fine**

****

** D - - > What is so funny about it**

** D - - > And where will the sign go**

** On the BACK, DUH. Unless you want to wear your stupid booty shorts with them and iron the sign on the back of THOSE.**

** D - - > E%cuse me, they are not booty shorts**

** They’re short as all hell!**

** D - - > You are suggesting I wear my sign as a tramp stamp**

** D - - > I take serious offense to that**

** THEN JUST IRON THE SIGN ON THE BACK!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Whatever**

** D - - > There, it is in the cart**

Hopefully, she’ll forget about the silly shirt. You don’t intend to ever wear it. You enjoy hoofbeasts (clearly), but the crop top is just too hideous for you to ever consider wearing. The shirt seems, to you, to be spitting in the face of the udder beauty of nature itself. 

You mean utter.

** Hey, wait, isn’t tramp a swear? I thought you didn’t swear, Mr. Purity.**

** D - - > I don’t know what you’re talking about**

** D - - > I never said that word**

** D - - > And that is not my name**

** You did say tramp, you liar.**

** D - - > Nope**

** D - - > Perhaps you should get your ears checked**

** D - - > I’ve heard that hearing wears down quicker the further down the hemospectrum**

** I dou8t that. Hey, there’s the computers!**

** D - - > You have the attention span of a goldfish**

** D - - > Or a seadweller**

**,span class="zahhak" > D - - > They tend to have the same amount of smarts**

You move in the direction of the tech isle. Your cart speed is significantly slower than before, due to the fact that Vriska has apparently decided that the shopping cart is a free scuttlebuggy ride. She has placed herself into the cart accordingly. 

Also, it is pretty difficult to push a cart without a handle, so there is that too, but the slow cart is definitely all Serket’s fault and not yours at all.

You’re not very far into the aisle when Vr—Serket speaks up again.

** May8e you could get a gamer chair.**

** D - - > What are you talking about now**

**You know, a gamer chair?**

** D - - > Clearly, I do not**

** It's a chair you game in, dingus!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Why would I need that**

** 8ecause you don’t have chairs in your hive????????**

What in the world is she going on about? 

She takes your confused silence as confirmation that you, indeed, do wish to buy a gaming chair. You cannot think of a single reason you would ever wish to buy a chair, let alone a gaming chair. 

Chairs are inhibitors of laziness and sloth and you refuse to allow one into your hive. Inhibitors of sloth can turn trolls into horrible things, creatures driven only by their own laziness, selfishness, and willingness to let down their Gracious Empire. They ruin the troll from the inside (similarily to the process Sopor makes a troll go through) and slowly but surely guarantee the troll is made essentially useless. So why in the world would you ever willingly buy one? Normal and productive trolls do not own inhibitors. Normal and productive trolls do not own chairs. That is why you threw out all of your inhibitors.

And yet Serket insists you two go check out the “gamer chairs” after you’re done looking for a new monitor. You don’t know why you expected better of her. She mustn’t understand.

You thoughtlessly grab whatever monitor looks best to you before driving the cart out of the aisle. You’re too busy to consider whether or not the monitor is suitable for your caste. Sure, it is in the Indigo section but is it really suitable for an Indigo blood? How can you be sure that it isn’t too good for you? How can you be sure it isn’t too bad for you? You should have checked the specs, but you didn’t. You didn’t check because you were stupid. And now it is too late. Vriska is demanding you drive the cart to the “gamer chair” section and won’t take no for an answer.

** D - - > 100k, we are in the so-called gamer chair section**

** D - - > Can we leave now**

** Uhhhhhhhh noooooooo???????? What, did you think I just wanted to gawk at them as if they were zoo 8easts trapped in cages?**

** D - - > Then what do you want to do with t**

** You don’t have any chairs in your hive, Zahhak!!!!!!!! Just stop arguing and get the gamer chair! Why do I have to spell everything out for you? Are you that stupid? What kinda weirdo doesn’t have chairs in their hive? What, you sit on the ground when you’re tired? Like some ho8o?**

** D - - > I do not sit**

She shoots you a confusing look. You have never been very good at understanding facial expressions. You don’t really enjoy looking at people’s faces for that reason. You’re pretty sure this has been established. But it might not have been.

You’re not sure what that look means and you’re too nervous to ask. But if you remain firm with your stance, nothing can go wrong. 

You need to remember your rules. Sitting only encourages sloth and laziness in a troll. Sloth and laziness decrease productiveness and usefulness in a troll. Having less productiveness means having less worth. You, Equius Zahhak, are worthless if you sit down.

  
  


** D - - > You are admitting that you sit**

** D - - > That is pathetic**

She scoffs before throwing the chair into the cart. 

** Just stop 8eing a freak for once and listen to someone when they tell you that you need serious fucking help, Equius Zahhak.**

** Mental case.**

** D - - > What??**

Oh dear. You pronounced that like an actual question. What if she thinks you care about her opinion? Your insincerity needs to be more sincere. 

** D - - > Ahem**

** D - - > I meant to say**

** D - - > What in the blazes are you talking about**

** D - - > Serket**

You say her name in such a way that it should be clear how little you value her. She is below you and that should be obvious. You are better than her. That makes her opinion irrelevant. 

** I’m saying that I don’t want to 8e “8est friends” with some weirdo who doesn’t have chairs in his hive. **

** D - - > Good thing you are only pretending to be my friend**

** Whatever! What if I come over and I want to sit down?**

** D - - > Sitting down makes you, Equ**

** D - - > Er, it makes a troll**

** D - - > Usel**

Vriska turns her back to you. You stammer to get your words out, but you find you’re having trouble speaking a clear sentence. You wipe at your face awkwardly and just give up on speaking. There is no point when Serket has given up listening.

Serket seems to be drawn to the snack section of this Maulmart. Is it normal to not be grossed out by packaged food? When you think of packaged food, you think of your organs being spoiled with toxins and grease. It makes you feel sick. You feel nauseous now. 

** Hey, why don’t we restock your fridge while we’re at it?**

You grimace and clutch at your stomach. You cannot imagine having processed food in your hive.

** D - - > I do not believe we will**

** Why not? I’m starving.**

** D - - > **

Maybe you shouldn’t clutch at your stomach so obviously. It makes you look weird.

** D - - > Because it**

** Too late, sucker!!!!!!!!**

Vriska dumps a varied selection of snacks into the cart. Oh god. They’re touching your new monitor. What even is this trash? Why would Serket consume this stuff? Who normally consumes… Cheese from a can?

That is just disgusting.

** Okay, come on!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Serket--**

She grabs your arm and tries to get you to follow her. You don’t budge an inch. Your metal shoes are, as always, a reliable anchor.

** D - - > I am not allowing this garbage into my hive, Serket**

** Huh? Why not???????? Stop 8eing weird.**

** D - - > I do not want to eat that**

** Okay? I’ll just eat it then.**

** D - - > I**

** D - - > No**

** D - - > People cannot witness me purchasing this junk**

** It isn’t junk. Its food, dude. I got crackers and shit. These ones are even whole-grain!**

She tosses a box of whole-grain garbage at you. You catch it and then drop it. 

** Ew, I forgot you can’t touch stuff without fucking up. Good going.**

She kicks the crushed box of toxins to the other side of the aisle.

** D - - > Vriska**

** D - - > We cannot buy this stuff**

She starts laughing at you. Why is she laughing? WHY is she laughing? This is not a laughing matter. This is serious. You are serious.

** Oh, is wittle Zahhak scawed of a box of cwackers?**

** D - - > What do you mean**

Your voice has grown panicked and you recognize that. Why are you panicking? You need to stay calm. Your mouth is acting faster than your thinkpan.

BRAIN! Not thinkpan! What are you, some lowblood?

** Your face is pale, loser. Wow, I never knew you had a fear of CRACKERS. That’s hilarious!**

** D - - > That is not**

** Man, imagine everyone finding that out. Hilarious. We’re totally **

** D - - > Please underst**

** At you, 8ecause that is totally **

** Want to be sick-- Why would you eat**

** Hey, I just noticed that your eyes are totally FUCKED. What the hell is wrong with them?**

** Want people to see me eating or buying such to%ic foods**

** Waiting……..**

** D - - > I just**

** D - - > That is just**

** D - - > I will never buy or eat such awful lowb100ded garbage**

** D - - > The fact you wish to buy and eat such horrible things makes me think so much lower of you**

** D - - > You need to stop eating i**

** D - - > Wait, what did just you say about my eyes**

You spot a rusty shopper wishing to get past the two of you. You signal that you will totally snap his neck if he bothers you.

You would never do such a thing, obviously, but he doesn’t know that. He runs away terrified.

** They’re so fucked up. Your eyes, I mean. **

** D - - > Ugh**

** D - - > Don’t use that word**

** D - - > You’re above that**

** You just said you thought lowly of me.**

** D - - > You were actually listening to me**

** D - - > I thought our dynamic was that neither of us listened to each other**

** Dynamic? What is this, some fancy pantsy work of fiction? **

** D - - > I just**

** Or even worse, fan fiction? I swear. That stuff is cringy. (unless it is mine)**

** D - - > What**

** D - - > What is fan fi**

** ANYWAYS, you should totally read my fanfic I wrote a8out my ancestor!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > I am so conf**

** Moving on. Yes, I listened to you. It was horri8le to hear your awful voice 8ut I did. So now I’m asking what the heck is wrong with your ocular glo8es.**

** D - - > Are you using that lowb100ded word regarding eyeballs just to annoy me**

** Am I???????? ::::)**

** D - - > There is nothing wrong with my eyes**

****

** D - - > It is part of my nightly routine to do that**

** D - - > And yell at myse**

** D - - > My lusus**

** Good! I never liked that guy.**

** D - - > Hrmmnnn.**

You cannot believe she just said that about your lusus.

** Well, your eyes are totally fucked up. One of them is like, way more dilated than the other. And the other one is totally smaller and not dilated.**

** D - - > Your eyes are ugly too**

** D - - > Oh, sorry**

** D - - > Your EYE**

Vriska Serket experiences a microaggression.

Not that you know what that word means.

** D - - > I’m sure it is disorienting for a girl of 8fold vision to go to 1fold vision**

** D - - > So maybe you just have bad vision**

** D - - > One Eye Serket**

** Wow, so mature, Freak Eyed Zahhak!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > My eyes are normal**

** What, do you get concussions every night or something? Are your eyes just permanently fucked? That’s entertaining.**

** D - - > Oh my god**

** D - - > Be quiet, Vriska**

** D - - > You are so annoying**

** Why do you keep calling me Vriska?**

** D - - > What are you talking about**

** D - - > I have not called you by your first name**

** Uh, yes you have. You’ve never called me Vriska until now. Why start tonight?**

** D - - > Hmrrrph**

** D - - > I did not mean to**

** What a lame explanation. I thought you’d say something at least slightly better than that.**

** D - - > I am telling the truth**

** You? Ever telling the truth?**

** D - - > Well**

** Next, you’re going to say something like “the truth **

** D - - > The truth doesn’t always have to be the truth**

** doesn’t always have to be the truth.”**

You briefly wonder why Serket is repeating you before deciding it doesn’t matter. You don’t care about anything she says.

** D - - > Glad to see you picking up B100b100d habits and ideology, Serket**

** What the fuck are you talking about now?**

** D - - > Never mind**

** D - - > You’re a disappointment again**

** You’re a disappointment 8-fold. Indisputa8ly, I’m the 8est person in this store.**

** D - - > We’re in Maulmart, Serket**

** D - - > That isn’t an achievement**

** Anyways, why are you scared of a 8ox of crackers.**

** D - - > I’m not**

** Then what is your deal?**

** D - - > It is packaged**

Serket has another confusing look on her face. You look away, as is certainly polite. You probably should not look at people in the eyes. You assume it makes them as uncomfortable as it makes you. 

** D - - > Erm**

You can still feel her staring at you.

** D - - > Was this a social misstep**

** No shit, Troll Sherlock.**

** D - - > Do you care to e%plain why so I can bett**

** You are so exhausting. Oh my god. Come on, we’re checking out.**

** D - - > Erm**

** D - - > Okay**

You think, for a second, that you overhear Serket whispering something along the lines of:

** (Come on, Serket. This gar8age will all 8e worth it when you get your end of the deal)**

…The deal! How could you have forgotten? You need to get the hoofbeast figurines. You abruptly stop in your tracks. A bronze crashes into you. 

...You have to keep up your reputation. You cannot just let a rusty disrespect you like that.

You whip around and--

Upturn your cart on them? You… didn’t mean to do that. 

** D - - > Do not touch me, gutterb100d scum**

No, this is good. They are scared of you. Your reputation is saved. So you can stop, right?

But you really could have hurt them. What is wrong with you?

You’re getting angry and you honestly don’t know why.

** I’m sworry?**

You bare your teeth while staring down at them. You hope you’re scary enough.

** D - - > Just do not touch me**

** D - - > Disgusting**

** D - - > You make me want to throw up**

** Swir--**

** D - - > Who told you you could speak**

Serket is staring at you again. You need to leave soon. You’re meant to oppress people. Why do you feel bad about doing it? You sometimes question if you were ever meant to have power. It doesn’t feel like it. What are you doing wrong? Why can’t you just be normal? 

** D - - > Clean this up**

You always feel like you’re doing the wrong thing. But you can’t be. This is what everyone else is doing. 

You expect the gutterblood to clean it by themself, but that isn’t what happens.

** (Dø yøu need help?)**

A beautiful looking girl, probably around your age, leans down and picks the cart off of the rust with her psionics. You’re not sure how to spell that word, now that you think of it. Psiioniics? Psionics? Psiionics? Psioniics?

No matter! That isn’t important.

The girl is absolutely stunning and your heartbeat is the first thing to let you know that. 

Her eyes are sparkling with life, even on a planet like this. It seems impossible almost, but she just seems so happy. How could she be happy with her--

What is her blood? You haven’t gotten the opportunity to see for yourself.

You’ve just been so focused on her…

Beauty. She is just so beautiful. You really cannot believe it. 

** D - - > Miss**

** (Øh hell nø i’m øut)**

The girl leaves after helping the gutterblood clean up your cart. The gutterblood books it out of there too.

You don’t know how to feel. Your eyes must be broken (like Serket suggested, perhaps) because you think you just saw the most beautiful girl in the world. Your own little world feels a little emptier without her in it. 

You only wish you could have seen her sign.

Oh well. You are sure that she was reasonably high up on the hemospectrum. She seemed too lovely to be a lowblood.

** Zahhak likey-likey, huh?**

** D - - > Idontknowwhatyouretalkingaboutletsgo**

Er.

** D - - > Aftergettingthehoofbeastfigurines**

  
  


GET THE HOOFBEAST FIGURINES AND GET OUT!

\--

** And that’s how I lost my arm and eye!!!!!!!! ::::)**

** D - - > You did not lose it by something e%ploding in your face**

** No shit, why are you stating the o8vious?**

** D - - > No, that was a question**

You and Vriska sit TOGETHER in the blue section of the omniscuttlecoach, not because of choice but because of necessity. Unfortunately, there are simply not enough seats for you to sit alone.

** Oh, then no. The octopus tore my arm off. There aren’t 8om8s in the sea, idiot. Well, there might 8e. **

** D - - > Then what happened to the eye**

** Well, you know, Eridan--**

You cringe unintentionally.

** I KNOW RIGHT????????**

** D - - > Are you seriously still dating him**

** Oh, no way! I dumped him weeks ago. Ugh, he was so fuckin’ weird.**

** D - - > Tsk**

** D - - > You need better taste in men**

** What, are you saying that 8ecause you want me to date YOU or something?**

** D - - > Ew**

** D - - > No way**

You can’t imagine ever dating Vriska. Ugh.

** Ugh, same. That just grosses me out to think a8out. And you’re not even that great a man. I don’t know why I said that.**

** D - - > Yeah**

** ...Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t date men at all.**

** D - - > You don’t have to, you know**

** Well, yeah, 8ut like...**

** I dunno. I feel like I have to. It always ends up 8adly, 8ut I dunno.**

There is a moment of silence between the two of you. You’re not really sure what to say and you aren’t sure why Vriska is spilling her heart out on a crowded bus where other people can hear her if they care to listen. You’d feel almost embarrassed if the subject didn’t make you feel bad for her. 

Why do you feel bad for her? That isn’t very blue for you to do.

** HEY, since we’re on the topic of dating... What’d ya think a8out that one girl at Maulmart? I thought she was pretty cute. I wonder if she plays FLaRP. Well, whatever. You seemed to like her a whole lo**

** D - - > OH 100K, IT IS OUR STOP**

The two of you get off the omniscuttlecoach with your Maulmart goods. Not soon enough, in your honest opinion. Vriska continues chattering in your ear about stuff you don’t care about while you carry all the bags. It only makes sense that you’d carry them considering how STRONG you are, but it would be symbolically nice for her to carry at least one.

You both reach the stairs leading to your hives. You need to be careful climbing up. You haven’t gotten railings installed yet and you keep putting the task off. You aren’t exactly worried about falling to face The Spider (since you could just punch her to death) but you don’t want it to come to you murdering a (not) innocent creature. Besides, it would be against the law for Vriska to be lusus-less (You realize that Pyrope has the same problem, but she TECHNICALLY DOES has a lusus, just not one that has been born yet) and you wouldn’t wish for any troll to break the law because of you. Breaking the law equals death. 

** D - - > See you, neighbor**

** Wait! You have to hold up your end of the deal, remem8eeeeeeeer? :::)**

** D - - > Oh**

** D - - > I guess**

** D - - > I don’t feel like %%ing right now, so sure**

** D - - > What was my end of the deal again**

** To 8e my 8est friend AND to hide something for me! And you definitely wouldn’t ever dou8lecross me right? We dou8lecross OTHER people. That is why we’re called TEAM Dou8lecrossers**

** D - - > Yes, we will both definitely keep up our parts of the deal and will not stab each other in the backs as most Honorable B100b100ds w001d do**

** Totally! I’m not even sure why this has to be stated, you weird sweaty guy.**

** D - - > Why do you need me to hide something for you**

** D - - > Can’t you just hide it yourself**

** Uh noooooooo????????**

** D - - > (Sigh)**

** D - - > Okay**

** D - - > What do I need to hide**

** Come on and I’ll show you!**

You are about to drop the Maulmart goods at your staircase but Vriska motions for you to just leave the chair.

You’re still not sure how you managed to fit that box into the omniscuttle doorway. 

Oh well. It is probably demonic or something. It is an inhibitor of sloth, after all.

You’re not sure what the word demonic means. You’re not even sure if it is a real word. Maybe you picked it up from The Highblood or something. He always says ridiculous words. The fact that you picked that word up speaks badly on your character. You need to add more things to address to your mental list. You have plenty of time to do this while walking up the stairs. Let’s see... Hm. 

You spend a moment recollecting where you were in your mental list before beginning to add to it.

**•You laughed at said joke (what joke?)**

**•You nearly cursed**

**•You possibly cursed in your mind without knowing it**

**•You possibly cursed audibly without knowing it**

**•You embarrassed yourself with the oven remark (Though you absolutely saved it with your fridge e%cuse)**

**•You almost cried like some lowb100ded special snowflake**

**•You accidentally called the bathroom the lowb100ded word**

**•You keep smashing things when you get angry**

**•You allowed Vriska to make you buy a chair**

**•You thought of stealing**

**•You…**

Wait, do you have something in your pockets? 

You pause your trek to Vriska’s hive to check your pockets. Well, after setting your bags down. And…

You have a pack of…

NO. You can't have.

You cannot… believe your--

** Stop stalling and hurry up, Horse guy!**

YOU'RE A THIEF.

You pick up the bags and catch up with Serket, but you are significantly slower now due to the weight on your conscience..

\--

** Welcome to my cri8!**

Vriska’s hive is, to say the least, quite messy. You would try avoiding the many obstacles on the ground if you could, but your metal shoes are simply not made for avoiding things. You’re likely breaking most of the silly d8s the girl has laying on the floor.

** D - - > 100ks a bit**

** D - - > Trash**

You feel like you were about to say a different word. A flush of shame falls upon you. Maybe you should update your mental list now. It seems like a perfect

** Like you have any right to talk. **

Time to

** Annnnnnnnyways, the thing I need hiding is **

Do such a thing. So

** It is important and also deadly if some guy finds out so don’t lose **

You’ll do that now.

** Or I’ll throw you in to feed You Know Who**

**•You nearly cursed**

**•You possibly cursed in your mind without knowing it**

**•You possibly cursed audibly without**

** ARE YOU EVEN LISTEN8 TO ME????????**

** D - - > No**

That is just your automatic response when Vriska asks you that. It is the truth, after all.

** WOW.**

You shrug. Vriska now possesses and waves around a small orb in a frustated manner.

** D - - > Is that a soccer ball or something**

** NO!!!!!!!!**

** D - - > Well**

** D - - > What is it**

** I’M NOT DOING THAT WHOLE SPEECH AGAIN!!!!!!!!**

She huffs before staring at the orb intently. Nothing happens. She screeches like a trash beast. You don’t know if trash beasts make noises. They probably do.

** STUPID LOUSY EYE 8EING SO VULNERABLE TO A STUPID LOUSY HARPOON! STUPID LOUSY USELESS 8LANK OR8! UGH!!!!!!!! TAKE IT!**

Vriska practically shoves the orb into your hands. You’re surprised to see the orb not instantly crack or shatter. It must be VERY durable for it not to break. You are STRONG after all.

** D - - > Impressive**

** WRONG! LAMEEEEEEEE. **

** D - - > Why**

** D - - > It seems to me to be indestructab001**

** Well yeah, I think. I never asked it, 8ut it might 8e.**

** D - - > Asked it**

** D - - > Question mark**

She shoots you a look. You can actually interpret this one. She seems bothered.

** Well, uh.**

She trails off for a second. You wonder if you confused her somehow. You tend to do that to people.

** D - - > Are you confused because I said Question Mark**

** D - - > That was me trying to make it clear that I was--**

** No, will you fucking sit down? You’re creeping me out with your standing.**

** D - - > What do you m**

** I’m, like, sitting now and you’re just standing above me like a creep. It is making me uncomfortable. Sit down.**

You didn’t even realize she sat down. That’s on you. You need to say something to convince her how selfish it is to sit down, but you find your mouth isn’t working anymore. You find YOURSELF sitting down.

Of course, you break one of her chairs upon sitting. That is one of the things that keeps you from sitting even if you did decide to disregard your four rules.

** Oh.**

** D - - > I did not wish to break it**

** D - - > That is why I did not sit**

That, of course, isn’t the only reason you usually refuse to sit down, but it is the reason you come up with.

** There’s a splaysack over there.**

She motions towards said splaysack. That seems to be the only type of chair you would be able to sit down in without your own modifications.

** D - - > Serket**

** D - - > I do not sit**

She facepalms.

** Why not.**

** D - - > I will recite my r001s**

** D - - > If you wish**

** Go for it, this conversation can’t get any worse.**

** D - - > Of course**

** D - - > Sitting only encourages sloth and laziness in a troll**

** Uh-huh……..**

** D - - > Sloth and laziness decrease productiveness and usef001ness in a troll**

** You’ve lost me.**

** D - - > Having less productiveness means having less worth**

**D - - > You**

** D - - > Er**

** D - - > I**

** D - - > Anyone really**

** D - - > Is worthless if they sit down**

** So you’re calling me worthless????????**

** D - - > Well, no--**

** You come into my hive, 8reak my chair, call me worthless, and then pretend to 8e my 8est friend?**

** D - - > I never said you were my best friend**

** D - - > Let me e%**

** Wow, Equius. I can’t 8elieve you.**

You’re sweating heavily and Serket can definitely tell. You would be wiping yourself down with a towel if you had a clean one. You don’t.

** D - - > I**

** D - - > Uh**

** Just sit down, Zahhak!**

** D - - > It is improper for you to order me--**

** You’re in my hive though. You’re 8eing a rude guest.**

You immediately sit down, as is proper. You can’t just be the kind of person who avoids hive rules and Vriska KNOWS that.

**D - - > Erm**

** Hey, does this mean you’re worthless now?**

** D - - > **

If you had your shades on, it would be a bit easier to hide the fact that you felt upset by that. Emotions can be seen through the eyes, so you’ve heard. You don’t know if that is true, because you dislike eye contact. Still, it is often used as an excuse by commanders who wish to cull their lackluster staff so they can actually have a reason to replace them. You wear shades because of that. (and because of light sensitivity, but mostly because of the emotions) Vriska laughs as if this is a joke. It isn’t. Nothing about this is funny. Being worthless to The Empire isn’t funny. Failing everyone you've ever known isn't funny. You probably are worthless now. You don't know what you're going to do. You've tried so hard to be a loyal and useful subject and pawn for the Empire but it is all ruined now. You're ruined now. You should probably speak. Serket is staring at you. You hate staring. Why does she do that? Surely she knows how uncomfortable it makes you. How could she not know? She is directly antagonizing you. She is threatening you. You feel unsafe. Anyone would feel unsafe with someone staring at them.

** D - - > Well**

** D - - > It doesn’t automatically make you **

** D - - > That**

** D - - > You see**

**D - - > It happens over time--**

** Can’t you take a joke?**

You try your best to pull a stern face and voice.

** D - - > Disappointing The Empire is hardly a joke**

**D - - > We were hatched to serve**

** D - - > Not to play around**

** You say that 8ut you’re still sitting.**

** D - - > Well, I would hate to be a rude guest**

** Yeah, yeah.**

Vriska reaches over and snatches the Maulmart bags (which you were still holding for some reason) out of your hands. She rips a bag of grease-covered Insecto-crisps open and starts shoveling poisons into her mouth.

** D - - > Vriska**

** D - - > You do realize that--**

She hands you the bag as if you would ever want to eat it. You feel sick.

** D - - > I**

** D - - > This**

** Oh, I forgot your freakish strength pro8a8ly prevents you from eating it.**

** D - - > It is **

** D - - > Not freakish**

** Mhm, sure.**

You’re having difficulty speaking and you aren’t sure why.

** I**

**I need to**

**Leave**

**Immediately**

Serket throws you an… annoyed… glance, perhaps. 

** Why are you always so weird?**

****

****

** You are. Can’t you just chill? Jesus. **

You grow quiet. As does she. Well, she seems preoccupied with rooting through the sack of disgusting snacks, so you suppose she doesn’t have time to talk. 

She laughs before holding out a chocolate bar to you.

**Take a Troll Snickers! You’re not you when you’re hungry. You act stuppppppppid!**

**How would you know that**

She shoves the candy bar into your hands. You feel like you’re going to be sick, but she is staring at you expectantly. You can’t just not eat it. 

You unwrap the confectionary and take a bite of it. The feeling is indescribable.

The caramel stretches unnaturally when you bite into it, (probably filled with god knows how many preservatives and chemicals) making you have to slow down and be more careful with your chewing, which is already pained. It gets stuck in what few teeth you currently have and makes the experience bothersome. Slowly carving each bit of the chocolate, almonds, and caramel monstrosity is pure agony, both in the pain sector and the morality sector. Your remaining teeth have faced a lot of violence but you never expected that to hurt less than the passive effects of a confectionary bar.

You cover your mouth so Serket doesn’t have to see you eat. It is only polite. You assume eating makes her as sick as it makes you. As you assumed she would do, she turns away. You don’t see why she’d want to watch anyone eat candy anyway.

  
  


You feel an inane but massive sense of guilt as you finish and swallow the bite.

You feel like you’ve destroyed your body.

You can feel every single bit of the poison sliding down into your esophagus. You can feel it collecting in your organs. You can feel it poisoning every single part of you. It is unhealthy. You know that because it is greasy, sugary, and packaged. 

Your stomach lurches and for a minute you feel like you’re going to throw up. 

Still, you need to stay STRONG. You cannot ruin your reputation by vomiting in Vriska’s hive. How embarrassing would that be?

** How can you stand eating that slow?**

You do not finish the rest of the candy bar.

** I did not know how to eat that**

** I do not eat candy often**

**"span class="serket" > You eat it like a normal person. Like THIS.**

She snatches the candy bar from your hands and bites into it like nothing. The germaphobe in you is freaking out.

**That**

**...Is disgusting**

**You eating after me, I mean**

**And biting into it like that undoable for me**

**Surely you can see my teeth are**

**Just ignore them! It isn’t that hard to eat.**

How are you meant to ignore your broken teeth?

You open your mouth to object to her ridiculous statement. As if on cue, two of your teeth fall out. They were the ones that took the worst beating in your last brawl, so you aren’t too surprised. They were loose anyways.

**Ew.**

You wipe the thin line of perfect yet undeserved blood leaking from your mouth before shrugging. 

**That is why I do not eat often**

Vriska sends you an odd look. Well, you suppose any look you receive seems weird. It is probably just your perception of reality.

**What do you do then……..**

**What**

You attempt, as always, to avoid eye contact, but Serket seems to draw your attention. You can’t seem to figure out why. She squints at you, almost as if attempting to unravel you. You find the moment painful. 

You look away.

** What the fuck……..?**

** D - - > Hmn**

** D - - > Language**

**No, dude, what the HELL?**

**D - - > What**

**What, you’re all 8uff as all hell and you’re telling me you don’t eat? How are you in that shape? What is your weight? How are you even alive, you freak?**

How are you supposed to answer those questions? And why does she care?

** Manners, Miss Serket**

**Those are just rude questions**

Your voice falls flat. You don’t care if she knows how annoyed she has made you. She SHOULD know. 

A wave of anger rises in you and you’re pretty sure it isn’t going to dissipate. 

**Hey, I can tell you’re pissed, 8ut--**

**I am not pissed**

**Shut up**

**You just swore.**

**Well, now I AM pissed, Vriska**

**Listen, I was asking reasona8le questions.**

Serket turns and starts fumbling with her computer. She doesn’t seem to have access to the internet for some reason.

**Eating makes me uncomfortable**

**And so does talking about it**

**So we will change the subject**

** Speaking of changing the su8ject… I just came up with this AMAZING unrelated idea to change the su8ject so that’s what we’re doing, you fucking freakshow.**

** That was my idea**

** It was definitely an original idea 8y me. So my su8ject change is this: We’re listening to rock now.**

Vriska gestures to her computer where an app called “Ditunes” is open. 

** D - - > Rock **

** D - - > I do not understand **

** Oh, I know what you’re a8out to say. You’re a8out to say something stupid like “Rocks don’t make music, they’re rocks.”**

** D - - > No**

** D - - > I understand the concept of rock music, Vriska**

** D - - > I’m not stupid**

** D - - > But why are we listening to it**

** Well, you’re angry right?**

** D - - > Well, yes, because you're being a complete You know what**

** Then why not listen to angry music? How have you not figured this out 8y now?**

** Oh yeah, 8ecause you’re stupid.**

** D - - > But rock is so**

** D - - > E%plicit**

** So is your mouth.**

You growl and tell her to shut up and play the darn music if she’s so insistent on it. You aren’t sure why you’re even here. You feel like you’re obligated to be here. You just want to go home. You tell her that and she scoffs.

** You can’t go home until you’re my 8est friend.**

What is her deal with you being her “best friend”? You know she’s planning something, but you can’t quite tell what. It might have something to do with her weird soccer orb but you aren’t sure. 

What did she mean when she said she “asked it” a question?

You quickly make the connection. Serket is crazy. She talks to soccer balls. You hope she gets over whatever is wrong with her. And that means getting her far away from you.

Serket seems to have bought entire albums of rock music. She shuffles through them for a bit before finally landing on a “decent sounding” song.

It sounds bad and grating on the ears at first. Still, it has a tune. 

**The bass**

**The rock**

**The mic**

**The treble**

**I like my coffee black**

**Just like my metal cause**

You find yourself wanting to tap your feet. YOU CANNOT DO THAT. YOU CANNOT ENJOY MUSIC. PEOPLE CANNOT KNOW YOU ENJOY THINGS. Besides, your shoes are too heavy to allow that. 

**With the bass**

**The rock**

Your STRENGTH outweighs the heftiness of your shoes. You find yourself tapping your feet despite everything. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost though. It just means that you find the tempo satisfying. It shows nothing of your opinion of the song.

**The mic**

**The treble**

Serket doesn’t really seem to care if you tap your feet. Maybe...It doesn’t matter if you enjoy things? 

No, that is just ridiculous.

**I like my coffee black**

**Just like my metal CAUSE**

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO KNOCK ME UP**

**IN A MINUTE MINUTE**

**IN A FUCKIN’ MINUTE**

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO KNOCK ME UP**

**IN A MINUTE MINUTE**

**IN A SECOND**

The music ramps up and BOY do you feel that energy. You’re surprised, certainly. You find yourself unwillingly grinning at the song. You need to stop enjoying it. Rock music is known to be rebel territory.

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP**

**AND MAKE ME HIP LIKE BADASS**

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP**

**SHUT IT UP**

You feel like, for the first time ever, you have truly found a song that fully encapsulates all of your anger and rage. You still want to punch something but you also just kinda want to...drum along to the song. That is bad.

You need to stop listening to it. 

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP**

**AND MAKE ME HIP LIKE BADASS**

**I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP**

**SHUT IT UP**

The song slows for a minute and you almost find yourself disappointed. You find yourself afraid that you’ll be let down. Then it ramps up again.

You’re finding it difficult to ask Serket to end the song. You’re enjoying it.

And THAT is why you tell her to end it. You refuse to enjoy potentially rebellious music. You explain this to Serket, but you do not believe she understood. 

You need to leave and she cannot stop you.

You take your stuff and go home. The last thing she screams at you before you’re officially out the door is 

I HOPE THAT OR8 EXPLODES IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!! 





	4. Fatherly Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only time that Aurthour has ever said "No" to his charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ACTUAL FIC

  


As soon as you make it home, you make a beeline for The Cage™. You don’t bother to try putting up or dealing with the nonsense chair, computer monitor, or soccer orb thing. You don’t care about that right now. You care about correcting your unruly behavior. 

You, Equius Zahhak, are entering The Cage™ at its highest setting. The Cage™, clearly, is an invention of yours. In The Cage™, there are various types of training robots. Every robot has a different skill set. 

You’re turning every robot on at once. You’ve broken too many of your rules. No more. You need to suffer. You need to test your limits. You need to train until you can’t train anymore. It is what you deserve for letting yourself become so horribly twisted by lowblooded and rebel-like ideals. You don’t care how bad it hurts. It just has to hurt. You have to hurt to--

Wait, what in the world are you doing?

How long has it been since you talked to your amazing, darling, perfect, fantastic quadrant?

No, seriously, how long has it been since you’ve talked to your moirail? You’ve lost track of time. You’ve been so sleep-deprived that you don’t even know what night it is. 

Screw The Cage™! Are you insane? You have to get your computer set up back and running so you can talk to your sparkling diamond. 

No wonder you went off the deep end and broke all those rules! Where is your common sense? Get yourself off of your lazy behind and start setting up your computer again. 

You’re so stupid. You forgot to talk to NEPETA of all people. Well, sure, your internet messed up and you broke the computer monitor, but STILL. You’re out of it, aren’t you? How much sleep have you been getting? 

Right. Sleep. That thing that you don’t deserve. 

Hm. 

Yeah. 

Well, you get the computer fixed and hooked up (with Aurthour’s help), and pretty quickly, you’re back online. Okay, wait. What the heck. 

**D - - > Aurthour **

**D - - > What are you doing **

Aurthour pats your shoulder. He...pats it again. And again. Then he pats your head. 

**D - - > Wh **

Aurthour continues patting your head. What is even happening? 

**D - - > I-- **

**D - - > Cease with this nonsense, Aurthour **

He lets out a dejected sound. 

**D - - > I’m practically an adult **

**D - - > Stop treating me like a grub **

Aurthour sighs and leaves. Thank god. What was he even doing? You’re SIX for Peette’s sake. Sure, you’re nowhere close to drafting age, but you’re basically an adult. He can’t just go on and coddle you like that. What kind of soldier would you turn out to be then? 

So embarrassing! You’ll probably die on your first night if he keeps coddling you with head pats. Imagine the shame you’d bring your unit. Sure, there would be the death thing too, but imagine the second-hand shame your UNIT would get! That is what is more important. You don’t want to make your commander feel like a failure or anything. Jeez. 

Whatever. Back to contacting Nepeta. 

You load Trollian and you’re IMMEDIATELY pounced at by her. 

That wasn’t a pun. 

**arsenicCatnip [AC]** **began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] **

**AC: :33 < *AC shouts really really loud at CT in a super-duper concerned voice! Where could that silly hoofbeast have gone that he was unable to talk to his sw33t caring moirail for so long?* **

**AC: :33 < *AC greets CT in the standard kitty cat way by headbutting and then ponders if CT is okay??* **

**CT: D - - > Hello **

**CT: D - - > Is it okay to just talk **

**CT: D - - > I’m tired **

**AC: :33 < Oh ofc **

**AC: :33 < Where have you b33n, misfurr?? :00 **

**CT: D - - > Long story **

**CT: D - - > I broke my monitor **

**AC: :33 < That doesn’t sound very long to me **

**CT: D - - > That is just the short end of the story **

**AC: :33 < Did you punch it **

**CT: D - - > That is embarrassingly the truth **

**AC: :33 < You could’ve just talked to me instead of being an angry mister meanie face **

**CT: D - - > I know **

**CT: D - - > I think it’s just a refle% to punch things at this point **

** **

**CT: D - - > I don’t even know how I managed to do it **

**AC: :33 < Were you internally monologuing again **

**CT: D - - > You know me too well **

**AC: :33 < Well, someone has to know you! **

**AC: :33 < I think more people should get to know you though **

**CT: D - - > I wouldn’t be able to stand that **

**AC: :(( < Why not? I think you’re lovely **

**AC: :33 < Efurry one should get to know you **

**CT: D - - > I would make them get to know you instead **

**CT: D - - > You’d light up their lives **

**AC: :33 < Then what would you do? If I litter up lives then you have to do something mew **

**CT: D - - > Is this a hypothetical situation **

**AC: :33 < Like a rp?**

**CT: D - - > Yes, I suppose those are the same thing**

**CT: D - - > I feel like I’d just be invisib001**

**AC: :OO < Invisible?**

**CT: D - - > I don’t think they would notice me**

****

**** **AC: :33 < Oh :((** ** **

****

****

**CT: D - - > But that is good**

**AC: :33 < I was thinking of that like a supermeower or something**

**CT: D - - > If those e%isted, then I guess**

**CT: D - - > That reminds me**

**AC: :33 < ? **

**CT: D - - > You are acquainted with Serket, correct**

**CT: D - - > Well, you are aware of her**

**CT: D - - > You better not be acquainted with her**

**AC: :33 < Yeah! Why?? **

**CT: D - - > She thinks I have “powers” **

**CT: D - - > She keeps saying something about “Darty dart powers” **

**CT: D - - > She is so ridiculous **

**AC: X33 < How do you know if you haven’t checked **

**CT: D - - > Nepeta, don’t be silly **

**AC: :33 < That’s my job though! **

**CT: D - - > And I pity you for it **

**CT: D - - > Be right back **

**AC: :33 < Don’t do anything dumb hehe **

**CT: D - - > No, I’m not **

**CT: D - - > Aurthour keeps acting up **

**CT: D - - > I think there might be a storm coming or something **

**CT: D - - > I’m not sure **

**AC: :33 < Remember to report back, Commeownder Zahhak! **

**CT: D - - > Will do **

**CT: D - - > <> **

**AC: :33 < Aww **

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **went AFK.**

Aurthour pats your head again before offering you a glass of milk. 

**D - - > Aurthour **

Aurthour looks at you with an indiscernible expression. You’re tired of having to interpret facial expressions. If Aurthour could talk, it’d be less difficult for you. 

**D - - > What is wrong **

**D - - > Is there a storm coming **

Aurthour shakes his head frantically before miming a heart and then pointing at you. 

D - - > You need a b100d transfusion 

D - - > Why 

That isn’t what he said. You have no idea what he could mean. 

D - - > I would have given b100d but that isn’t what you meant 

D - - > Aurthour, I do not have time to interpret you 

D - - > My head hurts 

Your head always hurts. You aren’t sure why, but it isn’t important. You shouldn’t have enough free time to focus on pain anyways. Unless you’re specifically training to get used to pain. 

Aurthour is intent on getting you to figure out what he is saying. You don’t have time for that. You need to get back to Nepeta. 

AC: :33 < <>

centaursTesticle [CT]  is no longer AFK. 

AC: :33 < What is the report, Commeownder Zahhak? 

CT: D - - > Apologies for the insufficient report, Captain 

**CT: D - - > But I have no idea **

**AC: :33 < You’re rping!! **

**CT: D - - > It is career practice **

**AC: :33 < Boringggg **

**AC: :33 < And I thought you wanted to be an archeradicator! Why shoot lower? **

**CT: D - - > I’m never going to be good at that**

**CT: D - - > Shooting, I mean**

**AC: :33 < You’re so smart though**

**AC: :33 < I bet you could invent a way to hold the bow if you tried**

**CT: D - - > You know how the Empire feels about innovation**

**AC: :33 < :(( **

**CT: D - - > I’ll be fine as a soldier**

**CT: D - - > I’ll make it fine if it isn’t fine**

**AC: :33 < How **

**CT: D - - > That is a problem for future me**

**AC: :33 < Futfur you is going to be real sad you didn’t follow your catnaps**

**CT: D - - > Catnaps **

**CT: D - - > ? **

**AC: :33 < Dreams sorry**

**CT: D - - > Oh **

**AC: :33 < I gtg, ttyl?**

**CT: D - - > Of course**

**CT: D - - > Stay safe**

**arsenicCatnip [AC]** **ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

**CT: D - - > <> **

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]**

**arsenicCatnip [AC]** **began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

**AC: :33 < <> **

**arsenicCatnip [AC]** **ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] **

You’re about to log off when you get another notification. Who could it… 

**terminallyCapricious [TC]** **began trolling centaurTesticle [CT] **

**  
**

**TC: YoU gOoD, bRoThEr?**

****

****

Be. 

Aurthour conveniently has a clean towel on hand. You pat your face before mentally preparing for a trainwreck of a conversation. You already feel angry. How typical. Aurthour pats your head again. You don’t understand why he keeps doing that. 

**CT: D - - > Ah **

**CT: D - - > I am decent**

**CT: D - - > How are you**

**TC: MiRaCuLoUs.**

**CT: D - - > I’m not surprised by your answer**

**TC: WhErE yOu BeEn? OnE tOo MaNy GlItTeR bOmBs CoMe YoUr WaY?**

...What does that even mean? 

**CT: D - - > My computer broke **

**TC: So YoU dIdN’t GeT tHe GlItTeRbOmBs?**

**CT: D - - > I don’t know what a glitter bomb is**

**TC: NvM bRoThEr, JuSt WoNdErInG iF tHe SwEeT mIrAcLe Of LiFe HaS tReAtEd YoU wElL**

**CT: D - - > It has treated me someways**

**TC: SpIlL iT lIkE aN uPtUrNeD fAyGo**

**CT: D - - > How do I spill it**

**TC: TaLk Man**

**CT: D - - > Oh **

**CT: D - - > Ugh **

**CT: D - - > Must you really reference that disgusting drink**

**TC: I dO wHaT i GoTtA dO :O)**

**CT: D - - > Ugh **

**CT: D - - > Serket has been meddling**

**CT: D - - > I had to go with her to Maulmart so I could get a new computer**

**TC: YoU dIdN’t JuSt GeT yOuR hUsKtOp By ChAnCe? DaMn**

**CT: D - - > What does that even mean**

**CT: D - - > You’re ridiculous**

**TC: Y’kNoW, fRoM tHe WiNd**

**CT: D - - > You’re saying you just magically got your husktop from the wind**

**TC: YeAh BrOtHeR :O)**

Aurthour has to briefly restrain you so you don’t punch your monitor again.

**CT: D - - > Why are you so stupid**

**CT: D - - > I despise you so much**

**TC: ThAt’S oKaY**

**CT: D - - > No it isn’t**

**CT: D - - > You’re supposed to be outraged by me saying that**

**TC: WhAt**

**CT: D - - > I’m lower than you**

CT: D - - > You aren’t supposed to just allow me to say things like that

TC: ThEn WhY dOn’T yOu JuSt StAy QuIeT aNd NoT sAy It?

**CT: D - - > Yes **

**  
**

**CT: D - - > That is good**

**CT: D - - > Please continue berating me for my misbehavior**

**CT: D - - > It is what is proper**

**TC: ThAt WaS a QuEsTiOn, NoT mE tElLiNg YoU oFf**

**CT: D - - > You’re the worst**

**CT: D - - > You can’t even allow me to believe you’re being decent**

**TC: :O) HoNk**

**CT: D - - > Stop **

**TC: I gOtTa GeT mY hOnK oN tHoUgH :O(**

**CT: D - - > I’m sorry **

**CT: D - - > I do not have the right to order you around **

**TC: HoNk? :O)**

**CT: D - - > Please pardon me for a moment **

Punching things solves problems. Punching walls is a good idea. 

**TC: PaRdOnEd, BrOtHeR**

**CT: D - - > Back **

**TC: DiD yOu FiNd ThE tRuE mIrAcLe InSiDe?**

**CT: D - - > You know what **

**CT: D - - > Yeah **

**CT: D - - > And that miracle is that I despise you**

**CT: D - - > I hate you so much**

**CT: D - - > I hate talking to you**

**CT: D - - > You’re the worst**

**CT: D - - > I’m not even going to grace you with a goodbye**

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]**

**TC: K.**

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]**

**CT: Stop talking back when I say bye, you degenerate sopor slime obsessed failure of a highb100d. You infuriate me so much.**

**TC: YoU nEvEr SaId ByE**

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **blocked terminallyCapricious [TC]**

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **unblocked terminallyCapricious [TC]**

**CT: D - - > No, I’m sorry**

**CT: D - - > I don’t have the right to block you**

**CT: D - - > I’m your inferior**

**CT: D - - > I hope you forgive me for this**

**TC: WaSn’T eVeR mAd**

**CT: D - - > You should have been**

**CT: D - - > It is only right to be angry that such a lowly, worthless, piece of trash blocked you when he’s so far below you**

**D - - > I’m nothing compared to you**

**D - - > I should have thought before I acted**

**D - - > I’m sorry**

**TC: Do YoU wAnT mE tO bE mAd?**

**CT: D - - > That would help**

**TC: I’m LiKe FuMiNg OvEr HeRe, BrOtHeR**

**CT: D - - > Good **

**CT: D - - > I mean bad**

**TC: GaD?**

**CT: D - - > What **

**TC: If It’S bOtH gOoD aNd BaD, iT’s GaD**

**CT: D - - > No **

**CT: D - - > That is stupid**

**CT: D - - > I don’t think that is a word**

**TC: WhY nOt**

**CT: D - - > You can’t just make up words**

**CT: D - - > Well, you can**

**CT: D - - > You can do whatever you want, I guess**

**CT: D - - > Nevermind **

**CT: D - - > Forgive me for speaking out of line**

**CT: D - - > That was a request, not an order**

**TC: We AiNt EvEn TaLkInG tHoUgH**

**TC: We’Re TyPiNg**

**CT: D - - > Yes, you are correct**

**CT: D - - > Please correct my remarks more often**

**TC: NaH.**

**CT: D - - > Okay **

**CT: D - - > You seriously make me sick**

**CT: D - - > I want to throw up every time I speak to you**

**CT: D - - > I have to go attend to some business**

**CT: D - - > Are we doing this the same time tomorrow**

**TC: YeAh**

**D - - > Okay **

**D - - > I’ll probably be calmer**

**CT: WhAtEvEr BrO ;O)**

**centaursTesticle [CT]** **ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] **

You are so angry. So very angry. You can’t tell if you’re angry at yourself or The Highblood. 

Your face cools up when you think of him. He is just so… delightfully horrible. You find yourself struggling to breathe when you contemplate your feelings towards him. You know your feelings are invalid, after all. He is horribly wonderful—wonderfully horrible, sure, but you can’t just hate someone so far above you. It wouldn’t be right. You don’t deserve that right.

You feel sick to your stomach with butterflies and you want them gone. 

Aurthour stares at you with a concerned face. He rests his hand on your shoulder. He tries to turn you to look at him. 

**D - - > Aurthour, just leave me alone**

He has gone mad if he thinks you want comfort. You tear away from him.

**D - - > I’m going to The Cage™ **

**D - - > Do not interrupt me**

**D - - > I need to correct some misbehaviors**

You wave bye to him and head to your destination. You think you might just pretend to be punching Makara.

\--

When you hear your charge say the words “The Cage,” you feel true fear strike your tiny lusus heart.

You have seen the machines he fights. They are horrifying, relentless, evil monstrosities who will stop at nothing to succeed at their only purpose: Kill Equius. You don’t understand why your grub is so obsessed with fighting these things. They aren’t helping him. He is already so strong that he is certainly guaranteed one of the highest-end guarding jobs possible. You don’t know much about life outside of Alternia, but you know THAT for certain.

You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You’ve heard the way he talks to himself in the mirror in the morning. You aren’t sure if he knows you know. You aren’t sure if he CARES if you know.

Something happened to your boy at one point and you don’t know what.

Because of this, when you hear “The Cage,” you get scared. You don’t know how much he can take before he can’t take anymore. You don’t know if you’d be able to protect or save him. 

You don’t know why he does these things to himself. It is the same with the way he forces himself to speak with the Purple colored kid. You don’t understand why he does it when he openly despises doing it. You don’t know if that is healthy or not. You don’t understand troll society as much as you’d wish to. You won’t ever be able to. You just know that it worries you. You want the best for your charge.

So when you hear 30 minutes straight of an unnatural amount of silence from The Cage, you fear the worst has happened. You’ve had previous charges die on you, but to have HIM die…

You don’t allow yourself to finish that thought. You swing open the entrance to The Cage preparing for both the worst and the best.

And then your grub steps out covered head to toe in blood. His blood. This is not okay. And yet he is acting like it is nothing.

**D - - > Ah, Aurthour **

**D - - > Thanks for holding the door**

**D - - > Hm **

**D - - > You seem faint, Aurthour **

**D - - > How long have you been gardening **

**D - - > You should know better than anybody that the Alternian Moons still do quite a measure regarding heat e%haustion **

**D - - > Tsk **

He casually walks--Nay limps-- over to the nearest first aid kit (which of course includes towels due to his supposed glandular problems) and begins treating himself. This must have been routine, but you’ve never seen him this injured. He almost looks like he’s been burned in places. 

He spits out a few teeth as he talks to you. 

**D - - > Honestly, Aurthour **

**D - - > Heat e%haustion is no joke for a lusus of your breed **

**D - - > Go sit down **

**D - - > It does no use to the empire for you to die on me **

**(and I just don’t want you dying)**

Your charge shoos you away to sit down in your rest area. He doesn’t seem to have a rest area, but you certainly do. 

You guess he cares more about you resting than he does himself. 

**(Ick)**

He fumbles around with a now very bloodied towel before just throwing it in the garbage disposal. The smell of burnt towels resonates through the room. 

You stand up, wanting very badly to tend to your grub’s wounds. 

**D - - > Aurthour, sit down and drink some darn water **

**D - - > You’re paler than usual and I didn’t even know you could get any paler **

**D - - > It isn’t dim season anymore, you can’t just garden all night **

**D - - > Goodness sakes **

**D - - > I don’t want to have to worry about you **

He seems more bothered by your apparent “heat exhaustion” than his very severe looking injuries. He carelessly inspects his wounds as if they’re nothing more than lipstick stains. 

**D - - > (Doesn’t 100k like it should be too bad) **

**D - - > (Their programming could be a bit better) **

**D - - > (Certainly needs better aiming) **

**D - - > (Hm) **

You have no idea what he is talking about but you worry it is about making those robots more dangerous. You don’t know what programming or aiming is. Does he think you can’t hear him? He scribbles something into a notepad. 

**D - - > (What is the piercing at) **

**D - - > (Hm) **

He pulls out some strange looking variant of a ruler with needles on the bottom. You cringe when your charge stabs the ruler into the back of his hand. What is he doing? You can’t just let him do that. 

Equius clicks his tongue in a disapproving manner. 

**D - - > (disappointing) **

**D - - > (I hardly even want to mark that down) **

You feel sick as you realize he has some kind of bullet or barb stuck in his hand. He got shot by something. Of his own creation. 

You’re putting an end to this. 

You stand up from your resting place. Equius glances at you before glancing back to whatever notes he is writing. 

**D - - > You have recovered rather quickly, have you not **

What would he know about recovering? 

**D - - > Perhaps I was incorrect about you being ill **

**  
**

**D - - > It is good to be incorrect in some cases **

****

****

You shuffle towards your grub. He hardly spares a glance towards you. He is encaptivated with his little experiment. 

**D - - > You are surely plenty aware of my interest in medicine **

**D - - > I have, after all, recently had to build a limb for one of my acquaintances/neighbors **

Your charge looks drastically younger without his shades. His face looks smaller, even, and the combination of his button nose and long eyelashes almost makes him reminiscent of a children’s cartoon character. He almost looks adorable, ignoring the bloody...ruler thing in his hand and the still-wet blood on his face. 

The thing that unnerves you, though, is his eyes. You aren’t sure how to describe it, but those are not the eyes of YOUR charge. Your little boy’s eyes were uniform. They were exact duplicates of each other. They were not unique compared to someone else’s eyes, either. They helped your boy blend in. 

When did they change? When did your little boy change? 

**D - - > I am conducting an e%periment regarding **

**D - - > Well **

**D - - > Battlefield prosthetics, for lack of better terms **

**D - - > The Cage™ is just a testing ground for me, you know, and well **

He stares at you with hope in his eyes. He has said before how difficult it is for him to stare people in the eyes. He has said how it makes him feel afraid, weak, vulnerable. You understand what he means now. 

**D - - > I am making a prototype **

**D - - > The thing is, of course, I have a twist **

**D - - > On the go battlefield prosthetics have been done to the ground **

**D - - > But what if you could utilize and weaponize them **

He almost seems excited. He fiddles with his hair as he speaks, now speaking with energy to him. He must have wanted to tell you about this for a while now. But you can’t stop staring at his eyes. 

What happened to him? 

**D - - > You see, there has been a problem with psychic overcrowding in the battlefield **

**D - - > Which means the trolls with the specific duty to mind-control enemies are increasingly finding it difficult to do that job **

**D - - > But if we could control enemies without the worry of psychic overcrowding **

**D - - > If we could completely overwrite DNA and disregard the conscience **

**D - - > We wouldn’t ever have to worry about it **

**D - - > I’ve been working with these little Gatling guns in The Cage™ **

**D - - > And I mean, it’s kinda working-- **

His eyes bore into you. All you can do is latch onto them. They’re piercing. 

**D - - > Aurthour **

He stares at you with desperate eyes now. You don’t know how to feel anymore. These aren’t your son’s eyes. This isn’t your son. You don't know who this is. 

**D - - > Are-- **

**D - - > Are you proud of me? **

No. You tell him no. 

He doesn’t say anything else. 

He did want you to stop treating him like a grub. His face now reminisces one, blinking back tears in those unfamiliar eyes. 

But he doesn’t say anything else. 

  



End file.
